Many writers say that ultimately you write for yourself, first. Instead of analyzing that, which I have agreed with until now. I want to say that I write my stories so I can tell stories to others. A storyteller. I want my stories read and disseminated. I realize now that no one is reading my book that I don’t just write for personal enjoyment. Nope. I expect in return that when I publish, it will be read by SOME people. Not none. Not talking money here but wanting my stories read. If I was just going to write for myself, no intention of others seeing it, boy would I write something else. Fanfic. A good juicy shippy fanfic for one of my fav shows. That is a story for me. I wrote one before I wrote fiction. ‘Nocturne’s Shadows’ which was so fun to write and even read after. Also poetry. That is something I enjoy writing for me. The dilemma is where do I go now? No one is reading my book. I have a why bother feeling since that book took a lot out of me and if I knew it wouldnt get read, I would have thrown it in the fire after I finished the first draft. The fun ends at the end of the first draft for me. Then its revisions, edits, proofread, reread reread reread… Publish, market, and so on. I only like writing, not the rest. All that and no readers. So why bother? Maybe I should do my first NaNoWrimo but make it a fanfic novel just for me. But I do have a story I want to tell. I dont write just for me, I am a storyteller at heart. But I took a blow and lost my sense of who I am as a writer. What to do next? Dont know. Kind of lost.