I’m not a big fan of reality television. Hell, I’m not even a big fan of reality! But like reality, reality TV seems unavoidable these days. Pity the poor couch potato weary of Bewitched and Gilligan’s Island reruns: reality TV seems to be the only fantasy-escape option left on the tube, not counting White House press conferences, of course.

The other night, while escaping the day’s dreary reality in an episode of Doomsday Preppers, I got to wondering what things I should squirrel away in my bomb shelter, that is, if I ever get around to getting up off the couch and building one. Being a humor writer, I thought the most essential items for my post-apocalyptic survival would be a good supply of funny books, movies, and TV sitcoms. So here’s my lists of top tens to cache for the post Night of the Living Dead.

Books: Humor
The Innocents Abroad, and lots of other stuff by Mark Twain.
Sweet Thursday, and its companion, Cannery Row, by John Steinbeck.
Complete Prose, by Woody Allen.
Strip Tease, or anything else by Carl Hiaasen.
archy and mehitabel, by don marquis.
Guys and Dolls and Other Writings, by Damon Runyon.
Lake Wobegon Days, by Garrison Keelor.
Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories and Other Disasters, and anything else by Jean Shepherd.
Tales From Margaritaville and/or Where is Joe Merchant? by Jimmy Buffett.
The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank, by Erma Bombeck.

Movies: Comedy
A Christmas Story, based on the writings of Jean Shepherd.
Radio Days, written and directed by Woody Allen.
Trenchcoat, written by Jeffrey Price and Peter Seaman.
My Cousin Vinny, written by Dale Launer.
Fool’s Gold, written by Andy Tennant, John Claflin, and Daniel Zelman.
Captain Ron, written by John Dwyer, screenplay by John Dwyer and Thom Eberhardt
Cold Turkey, Screen story by Norman Lear and William Price Fox Jr. Screenplay by Norman Lear.
The Comic, written by Carl Reiner and Aaron Ruben.
Down Periscope, story by Hugh Wilson. Screenplay by Hugh Wilson, Andrew Kurtzman, and Eliot Ward.
Soul Men, written by Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone.

TV: Sitcoms
I Love Lucy
Taxi
Rosanne
All in the Family
Seinfeld
Sex and the City
The Honeymooners
The Bob Newhart Show
The Cosby Show
Mama (I Remember Mama)

There you have it. My bomb-shelter stash.
Now that I’ve shown you mine, it’s your turn to show me yours.

Jerry Flu is the author of Who Killed Randy Ratphink?: The Postmortem Adventures of a Fried-Brain Hippie!