OK, it’s not totally an asshole, but it’s mostly an asshole. And sorry for the language, but if you think of a person you know (either in your life or a character on TV) whom you would describe as an asshole, you have a pretty good picture of what is happening in your head the majority of the time. That is, unless you have an Eckhart Tolle-sense of presence and awareness. So there IS hope, but let’s start where most of us tend to hang out: the negative, limiting, fear-mongering place of the subconscious mind.

And actually, let’s not call it the subconscious mind. Let’s call it the pre-programmed mind. Because it comes downloaded with the thoughts and feelings of your parents, who carried in their genes the thoughts and feelings of their parents (and so on and so on). It also seems to hang on to every unfiltered and ill-formed conclusion that your very young self formulated before the age of seven. Guess how that manifests itself in your life as a smart and capable adult? Self-sabotage, depression, fear, addiction….because the pre-programmed mind is constantly running the conclusions that “I must not be lovable” or “There’s not enough to go around” or “I’m not good enough” despite mountains of evidence that you may have to the contrary. So imagine your favorite asshole character standing behind you all the time, saying, “You’re not good enough. You don’t deserve this. Why even try? You know you’ll fail.” It would be outrageous, right? Yet, we allow these types of tapes to run on an infinity loop in our psyches. We let the negative programs run on our psyche’s hard drive because they came as a factory installation.

Did you notice that I said, “we allow” and “we let”? That is inherently beautiful news. You are in charge of your mental computer when you choose to be. It begins with a decision, an intention, to meet this negativity where it is and to consciously let it go. And don’t let your mind tell you that you don’t know how to let it go. You just have to be willing to acknowledge the negative thought and ask it to leave. You can do things like imagine that it is moving out as you breathe out if that helps. But the essence is that you are deleting the files as they present themselves. It is the opposite of creating resistance to it by trying to fight it with willpower. This is using your Free Will in the way it was designed: you make a choice and that’s that. Your mind will want to say that you can’t just choose to be happy and free, but that’s just its asshole self talking.

The next time you feel down or angry or frustrated, pause and check into what you’re believing in that moment. If what you’re believing is making you miserable, then make a decision to let it go and to be happy despite all of that and see what happens. It’s all a big story anyway.

The truth is this: YOU REALLY CAN BE HAPPY despite what other people do, despite your bank account, and despite all of the woes of the world. It’s a choice. It takes some practice and it takes some awareness, but it is possible. And you don’t even have to be Eckhart Tolle after all.