I love National Novel Writing Month. My first participation and my first ‘’win was in November 2010 when I wrote the first half of the development draft of a novel then called “After Africa” which became “As Long As She Lives” and my debut novel. I haven’t done it every year – last November I was deep in editing and learning what I needed to about self-publishing – but when I do I commit to winning and when I don’t I envy those who are. When I’m asked why I do something which is better known as something teenagers do, not “serious”writers, I always tell them that a) it’s for anyone who wants to do it and b) there is nothing else like a month in which not only do I, as a writer, get to have the experience of having colleagues from all over the world but those colleagues are filled with adulterated optimism that they will complete at least those 50,000 words.  For a whole month the forum is your workplace water-cooler and everyone is talking about getting those words down, finding those story solutions and it’s quite simply lovely!

I was particularly looking forward to participating this year. In the three months since launching As Long As She Lives, I’ve struggled to prioritize time for writing/developing my next project over learning about marketing a self-published book (and finding it rather trying to my soul – blog post coming) and dealing with some extreme fatigue and chronic pain I couldn’t pin-point and so in true Aussie style dismissed as a need to ‘just get my act together’. I decided NaNo would be the catalyst for ‘pulling my socks up’ and launching for my next project – I’d set aside everything else for the month, focus properly and do the last development I needed to do before delving in to my new project once and for all.

On October 28th I committed to NaNo and ‘created my novel’on the NaNo site. On October 30th I learned that in fact my fatigue and my pain was very, very real and I was booked in to have surgery 14 days later. My main concern? Could I still I finish NaNo?

I spent the next two weeks I managed about 4000 words of development only, second-guessing my plot, changing it completely – desperately trying to create that spring-board that is ‘the perfect opening scene’ from which all cause and effect with unroll with ease after I had my surgery.

It’s now  12:05 am on November 15th, about 30 hours after surgery and I’m sitting at home in my reading chair, propped up with pillows because I lying down after having had four probes inserted into your abdomen is excrutiating without a hospital bed with its railings and motorized folding matresses. My brain is blurring in and out of lucidity thanks to the pain killers I’ve been sent home with and I’m thinking that maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to ‘lose’ NaNo this year.

I’m still determined to begin my new project by the end of the year, in fact starting it on New Year’s Eve would be symbolic to the work itself, but I can do that without going hell-for-leather through November.   Instead, I’ll take it slowly as I recover over the next weeks, quietly building my foundation for my next project (which you may have gathered is not a standard novel and which I’m excited to share with you as soon as I can) and spend the rest of my NaNo being a support for my fellow WriMos – I know many of my buddies are readers, that’s how we met – and wishing you all ‘ganbatte’ for your NaNo with all of my heart.

So, ganbatte and love to you all.

Darcy.