Every day there is some new tragedy on the news. Senseless violence or just an accident that takes a life or many lives.  Watching these events unfold, it is difficult not to feel despair.  And then I look at my own life, how it doesn't even vaguely resemble anything I ever imagined I would do or have or be at my age, and I feel like the rest of the world is succeeding while I fall on my face.

Trite as it sounds, however,  there is a lot to be said  for gratitude.

It often feels easier to complain about what I don't  feel grateful for. LIke the fact that I have ants in my bathroom and can't figure out where they're coming from. Or the fact that I don't want to face my day job as a claims adjuster at this time of year, when claims multiply like bunnies and everyone is unhappy because I'm not paying them fast enough. And as I grumble and refuse to see life from their wounded, indignant perspectives, insisting they see life from mine as overworked and slightly panicked, myself, some small part of me realizes the folly in all of it.

We can't change our circumstances. We can, however, change our attitude.  Yes, I am overrun with little creatures right now who have their own agenda. That agenda has nothing to do with mine. Those ants aren't out to get me personally, they're just doing what ants do: scouting for food and, really, for survival. 

I can't change the volume of work at work, but I can make an effort to sound less annoyed with each new phone call, where I want to tell the cranky, impatient person on the other end that I could finish their claim a lot faster if they'd stop calling me twice a day, tearing me away from whatever else I was doing to tell them for the millionth time that no, I'm not finished with their claim yet. 

I can't change the fact that sales for my books are struggling.  In a sea of other indie authors who have chosen self-publishing over traditional publishing, each day feels a little like my own personal Hunger Games, clawing and fighting to keep my book visible in a sea of other books doing the same.

I'm thankful that I have a roof over my head, ants or no ants.  I'm thankful that I have a job that keeps that roof overhead, stress or no stress.  I'm thankful for each person who has read my books, though their numbers are fewer right now than I would like.

Now if I can just hold on to that perspective, I'll be ahead of the game.