Written by the illustrious Jay Swanson

I never thought I’d have an unboxing that I could describe as the worst unboxing ever.

It was just over a month ago that I found out I was losing my job – that mysterious job that took me all over the country that I never really disclosed in full detail. Anyways. I basically live out of a suitcase, but I’d accrued a few things along the way, including a number of books, prints, etc. for the inventory of my online store.

Not wanting to abandon said swag, and not wanting to lug it around France with me, I opted to ship most of it back to Washington State, where I would head as soon as I returned from Paris. I put together three boxes of books and shipped them all via USPS Media Mail – the most amazingly cheap way to send books domestically – and didn’t think anything of it after that.

I shipped these on November 17th.

Two of the boxes arrived that week, but I’d shipped a few other things and lost track of the total box count in the midst of my travels. Fast forward to Friday, December 4th, and one more box arrived. It seemed odd that it should come so late, and something seemed… off. I opened it up, took a step back, and asked out loud “Is this a joke?”

Perhaps there are worse out there, but here’s my contender for

The Worst Unboxing Ever:

 

Needless to say, what I found shocked me. I double-checked, then tripple-checked the box. I had never seen anything that was inside – not the items themselves, not even the brands they bore (with the exception of Little Debbie, but let’s be honest, we would expect Little Debbie to be in a box like this). The pies got smushed, spilled out a little, and left everything sticky-sweet. Gross.

What didn’t make it into the video, because I discovered it in the midst of cleaning up, was that the bag of powdered sugar was unsealed. It just got freakier with time. I’m also fairly composed in the video, but this weirded me out pretty significantly at first, and I didn’t go through all of it until I was on camera because IT WAS SO FLIPPING WEIRD.

If anyone recognizes the brands, I’m too creeped out to google them. Seriously, it felt like the kind of stuff you’d find in the last convenience store before the serial killer’s cabin in the woods. Didn’t help it was all old and expired.

What’s Missing (x30)

');
// ]]>

Buy Shadows of the Highridge



So to whomever has my 30ish copies of Shadows of the Highridge out there, I really hope you distribute them to some book lovers and don’t cover them in Little Debbie pie goo. To celebrate your achievement, you sneaky sticky bastard, I’m going to give everyone 10% off in my store for the next two weeks.

Just put in the code BOOKTHIEF at checkout. Expires as soon as Santa lands on your house (and ships as soon as my inventory is restored).

The post The Worst Unboxing Ever – Vlog appeared first on jayswanson.me.