New Years is this strange time where we set aside our crazy lives for a moment and we reflect on the past and what brought it to the present. It's also an attempt by many to look into the future and guess where we will be at the close of the following year. People set resolutions. They try to change. They are convinced that a few words made to internet strangers and family they only like to talk to at holidays will make these resolutions come true. I personally believe that every single day should be a resolution, to be better, kinder, more informed, and the thing you want most to be. Each day is a moment of trying to improve, not for others, not for glory, but because you know that being better is what you want most. Resolutions are silly, but looking back and appreciating all the wonderful things that have accumulated in your life the past year is both glorious and slightly nausea inducing. It is a reflection of who you are and the potential of who you might become.

It stirs familiar questions. Where have I been? Have I achieved the things I wanted to? Could I have done things differently? Why did I eat so much pizza? Some of these are easier to answer. No, I didn't achieve what I wanted. I feel, in a lot of ways, that I have failed. This year has not been overly kind to me. I believe that I could have done things differently, but it wasn't in my knowledge base to know how at the time. I had to start over. I felt like I failed at it. In a lot of ways, I'm still failing.

Looking back always affords you wisdom that you did not have in the present. That's the irony and surety of life.

But I can also look back and realize how much I have really had. I had money enough for food and necessities. I had friends and family willing to lift me up and love me even though they really didn't have to. I got to see the United States slip past me in shades of red, brown, green, and blue. My husband was attentive, loving, and kind. My dog always knows how to snuggle and act like he's a puppy, instead of the eleven years he has on him currently. I met some amazing people through a new writing site I discovered. These women have become so important to me, so uplifting. They are spirits of generosity, giving, and kindness. They are love, and I feel so honored to know them. There have been shows, and movies, and moments that have excited me. There are so many things that have changed me for the better, opened my mind, and brought me joy. I cannot look at these moments without feeling overwhelmed by my luck.

There has also been some overwhelming heartbreak and injustices. People have bled and we have done nothing. People have died and we have shined adulation on their murderers. Paris will not be forgotten. San Bernardino will live in our hearts. Tamir Rice will live in the hearts of every child playing in parks around the country. Colorado Springs will breathe into every moment of safe, affordable care women around the country get...There are so many more I could mention, which is just heartbreaking.

The point is that there have been ups and downs, personal and throughout the world. We have bled, we have survived, we have endured, we have laughed, we have shined, we have made new moments, new friends, and new loves that will carry us into the future. I hope, sincerely, that your current path carries you someplace wonderful and better than the last year. I hope your 2016 shows you growth and all your dreams coming true. I hope the year treats you well.

You are all glorious and sweet. Thank you for your continued support, your love, and the messages that keep me going. I love you all.