Almost ten years ago, God gave me a mission.

Born out of my own needs and experiences resulting from the year my husband went to war for the first time, the match lit and the passion ignited. From out of those first flames, I took off on a marathon journey to make sure no other military wife might ever feel alone. I wanted her to know she wasn’t. She had God and she had other military wives too. Wives of Faith had started. Who knew it might last so long before the time came to say goodbye.

 

 

We spread the word and on a crisp night in December of 2006, ten of us gathered at the church we attended in Nashville for an ornament exchange. We didn’t know anything about each other except that we were all military wives. Some of us were active, some of us were Guard/Reserve, some of us had husbands away or preparing to be away. All of us had concerns and needs for connecting with other ladies who might understand those concerns and needs. We found it that night and in the evening get-togethers and Bible studies and the mornings at McDonald’s with the kids that came later. We laughed and cried and learned and shared and grew.

It was wonderfully good.

When Cliff came home after his first deployment to Iraq, I hesitantly waited and half-expected that passion to fade. But it didn’t, and for the next several years, I walked with others through our individual but similar journeys… dealing with the unknowns and uncertainties of war, saying goodbye to husbands and welcoming them home, walking our children through the ups and downs and encouraging each other through the same. I was blessed to write two books for military wives, GOD Strong and Tour of Duty, and I’m touched each time I hear from a military wife who has read them. I know women whose husbands didn’t come home from war, and women whose husbands did return, but who made the choice not to come back to the home or the wives who faithfully waited for them. I counseled sweet young women who cried over broken love, and wrestled with the painful reality of  husbands who didn’t know God the way they did. I met incredibly brave women who worked to help husbands with deep combat wounds seen and unseen, and through it all, I saw God pull hearts towards Him.

 

It was wonderfully beautiful.

I made lots of mistakes and lived out the meaning of trial and error. When I learned it would cost $3,000 to have someone else build a website in those early days of blogging and the inter-webs, I sat down and learned how to do it myself. I led a women’s ministry team when I’d never served on one myself. I started a board of directors when I had no clue what that meant or what that was supposed to look like. We grew multiple groups before we’d ever established an organization – in Tennessee, and as far away as Virginia and California – and we fumbled our way through setting ourselves up as a 501c3 nonprofit. I led our team to hold our first women’s conference in Nashville in November of 2011 – when I’d never actually attended one. Just under 30 women from 5 – or was it 7? – states attended. But no one seemed to leave disappointed. All of them were grateful to be somewhere where others “got” them, and the speaking was only for them. Then, as military tend to do, core team members began moving away. I moved away. Our ministry was now completely online and I learned how to build relationships through computer screens and this new thing called Facebook and communication through something we once knew as blog carnivals. There are women in each of these pictures I hold dear to my heart, many I’ve only seen a couple of times in person.

 

It was all wonderfully challenging.

Coming to a Decision

After Cliff’s third deployment, though, something changed for me.

I was tired, to be honest. Three deployments in six years can suck part of someone’s soul pretty dry, even when that someone loves Jesus.  God worked in my life in a number of ways over the years and leading a team and serving through a screen became less satisfying. I loved teaching Bible study to the ladies at my church. As a reservist spouse, never having lived on or near an active base, which is certainly our situation now, military life felt distant, and after three deployments, I reluctantly welcomed the feeling. This year marks my husband’s twentieth year of service, and the plan is to retire. I never wanted to be the military spouse who left the party as soon as the cake was served, but this past fall, the question began as a whisper… is it time? Months and months passed, but I couldn’t hear God’s answer in my prayer times.

So I tried reasoning with Him.

God, if I’m not supposed to leave, than I need You to provide the answers… the people… the resources… the energy.

But the answers didn’t come. The resources didn’t show. The people didn’t materialize.

All I kept hearing was “wait.”

Don’t you love waiting? Especially when no timeline or deadline is apparent?

Me neither.

But I wasn’t a quitter.

I prided myself on finding solutions to challenges, not cutting bait to run. I trusted God. I loved our team. These are amazing women, all military wives, all serving their families, and their communities well, and they’ve all stayed loyal to the mission of Wives of Faith. I’m grateful I’ve been blessed to serve with them. But He’s finally made it clear that it’s time to finish the chapter. A new one is waiting to be written.

Now this is where you might expect the What’s Next. People never make an announcement of shutting down an entire ministry unless there’s a What’s Next announcement following right behind.

Right?

Here’s the truth. I’m not sure what’s coming next or what door God will open. A new book? I hope so. A new ministry? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve always tried to be faithful in walking where God leads me, even when it meant walking into parts unknown, like now. I also believe God never wastes what we go through. My experience may help encourage someone else in their experience. Yours can do the same.

4 Signs It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Are you struggling to make a decision? Maybe you’re a mom who feels like you’re supposed to leave your job and be home, or you’re a mom who feels like it’s time to take a job. You’re a volunteer ministry leader at your church desperately desiring to use more of your gifts than you’re using right now – but you’re scared of what that means.

Maybe the position you have right now is what you’re known for – and you’re afraid if you step away from that position, you won’t just lose the stress that gives you headaches and ulcers, but you’ll lose your identity too.

Who will you be if you’re not what you’ve been?

Consider these signs. If you’ve experienced at least a couple, it may be time to embrace a new season in your life.

(One important note to my married readers: I realize by the title of this post that some of you may have searched around online and found me because you’re looking at saying goodbye to your marriage. Please hear me when I say my heart goes out to you… but walking away from a job or a volunteer position isn’t the same as walking away from a covenant you made with your spouse and the signs listed below should not be used as an excuse to dissolve your marriage. Please check out my book, My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife or download my Love His Way devotional cards – they may help you begin the steps to reconciliation.)

1. The passion isn’t there like it used to be.

I think it was in Purpose Driven Life that Rick Warren wrote that a job won’t feel like it’s a job if it’s what you’ve been created to do. All of us can have bad days, or seasonal slumps, but if the thought of doing what you’ve done no longer excites you and a week stretches into months where you find yourself looking for anything and everything else you can do instead of what you’re supposed to do, it may be time to let someone else to lead the charge. What does get you passionate? What doesn’t feel like a job? Maybe that’s where you’re supposed to go next.

2. Life’s circumstances change.

I have a friend who hates the concept of talking about life in seasons. Maybe in certain contexts, he’s right. But I’m a big believer that life does have seasons and some come and go quicker than others. Military families certainly understand seasons. The season of deployment. The season of a new move and getting settled in a new town. Moms understand seasons too. All too quickly, our 3-year-olds turn into 13-year-olds, but the time between those years can feel long or short depending on the day.

Sometimes changes in our lives – experiences, successes, disappointments, challenges – all of it can add up to a sense that God is moving us in a new or different or unexpected direction. The year we lived in Anderson, SC where I took a job after my husband was laid off from his turned out to be a brief season for us. We got there in May and Cliff left in October for a second deployment. And by January, I’d finally admitted how miserable Caleb and I were being so far from family. After discussing it with Cliff, we made the decision to move back to Louisiana. I firmly believe God used that change, that transition, to teach me a whole lot about relationships, about God’s timing, and about listening to His voice. If I’d tried sticking it out, I would have missed out on some beautiful friendships we’ve made here where we live now.

Have you encountered a life change? A friend of mine recently gave up a dream job and ministry in order to move near aging parents to help care for them. It wasn’t an easy decision for her at all. If she’d had her choice, she would have preferred caring for her parents AND keeping her job. But it’s where God has her, and she’s trusting, as she should, that He has more in mind as she obeys and follows Him first. If God has allowed changes in your life which are raising the question of saying goodbye to something, trust He has something for you to say hello to coming very soon.

3. You are changing.

Sometimes it’s not our circumstances that change. Sometimes it’s us. Our purpose for knowing God is to glorify God, and as we grow in understanding and maturity of that knowledge, we hopefully grow and mature in other areas as well. Where once we were previously content, we may now feel restless, and though that doesn’t mean you need to up and quit your job, or resign that ministry team you’re serving on – it should be a sign for you the Holy Spirit is nudging your heart to get your attention. Where does He want you?

4. You’re afraid.

Fear can stop us in our tracks. Sure, fear keeps us from hurting ourselves – but sometimes fear also keeps us from moving forward. If a change seems on the horizon for you, but fear of what’s beyond that horizon looms larger for you than anything else that might actually come from the change, it’s time to address why you’re afraid and offer an honest analysis of whether those reasons are legitimate. A friend of mine struggled with this after learning the volunteer position she’s served in is going away. “What am I going to do next?” she said. “This is what I’ve known. This is who I am.” Even the idea of not having the title she held bothered her. I can understand where she’s coming from. After being introduced to so many groups as the founder of Wives of Faith, it feels strange to think that I won’t be introduced that way in the future.

Here’s what I do know. Our real identity isn’t ever found in a title or in an organization. It’s found in Christ. He is who I’m supposed to pattern myself after. Jesus’ purpose never changed, even when His location or the people around Him did (some loved Him, some hated Him).

div.TT_wrapper {
margin: 23px auto 25px;
padding: 10px 15px;
width: 80%;
}

div.TT_wrapper div.TT_text {
font-size: 21px;
line-height: 140%;
}

div.TT_wrapper div.TT_footer {
border-top: 1px solid #cdcdcd;
margin-top: 11px;
}

div.TT_wrapper div.TT_footer a {
color: #666;
font-size: 16px;
text-decoration: none;
}

div.TT_wrapper div.TT_tweet_link_wrapper img {
float: left;
margin-right: 6px;
margin-top: -5px;
}

div.TT_wrapper div.TT_tweet_link_wrapper {
padding: 10px 5px 0 0;
}

Our real identity isn’t ever found in a title or in an organization. It’s found in Christ. He is who I’m supposed to pattern myself after. Tweet This

So what’s next for me? After we take the necessary steps to close Wives of Faith, shutting down the website and the social media accounts, I hope to blog more this year in this space and work on some new writing projects. I hope to continue speaking to groups, and along the way, I’ll be looking for the doors God opens and the opportunities He gives me to continue serving in my purpose – glorifying and following Him in whatever position or circumstance He places me. Thank you for your prayers and thank you for your support. If you’d like to keep up with what I’m doing, please sign up for my email list. And for additional resources, check out the articles below.

5 Ways to Know When to Walk Away from Your Ministry 

4 Signs It’s Time to Leave Your Ministry Behind

 

Have you experienced a time in your life you had to walk away from something? How did you move  forward? What confirmed for you it was the right decision? 

The post When is it OK to Say Goodbye? appeared first on Sara Horn.