What The Fuck? You Got To Be Kiddin Me
Have you ever been hungry looking for a late night snack? If you are human, of course at one point, you have wondered around your apartment or house slamming cabinets, opening and closing the cold box searching for the right late night appetite pleaser. I had this happen to me several nights ago. My stomach felt empty like it was touching my back. In my room sits two cardboard boxes that had a few snacks remaining that I received from a food bank, my eyes stopped and focused on this particular bag. Enclosed inside of this see through bag was thousands of Sunflower seeds. The bad part is I had to act part Gerbil and think human to comfortably consume this small finger food. The seeds were delicious, but I ran into multiple problems. To encounter a pleasurable experience with this snack one must understand the nature of eating this tasteful product. Also, the steps it takes to get to the actual seed. Last, knowing when to eat this snack. To elaborate, I will discuss in full detail my experience.
I popped the first Sunflower seed in my mouth starting at 11:45pm. Before I actually opened the bag I noticed that I was given the Bar-Be-Q flavor. I never knew the seeds came with an added ingredient. Remember I gave the source for my reasoning for having these small snacks. Instead of smashing straight through the outer layer of the seed I began sucking and maneuvering this thing trying to determine if it had a noticeable Bar-Be-Q taste. After taste testing, I guess I will agree with that. Once all the flavor was gone I clamped down hard enough until I heard and felt the shell crack. The cracked portions I would shuffle side to side looking for the small seed to eat. Spitting the wet drained pieces inside of the plastic bag began to take shape like small woodchips. Each one never looking exactly like the one spit out before it. Every few minutes I would reach my hand inside of the bag grabbing a handful but only eating one of these muthafuckas at a time. “What the fuck”, I remember saying out loud, laying sideways, my right elbow holding my head up, feet dangling off the mattress, irritated, and getting pissed with this process, I said, “you got to be kiddin me.” I had a strong urge to start eating the whole Sunflower seed, I’m talking about handfuls at a time. The nature of eating this seed can become what I call tedious snacking! Damn these muthafuckas good though. Speaking of good because they were good I had to decide on a few steps.
Although they taste well, eating these are very time consuming. I decided it was no way possible to get my stomach close to being satisfied if I continued the seeds one by one. The multiple process was completed each time because the flavor kept me reaching for more. Like any other snack some are tastier gripping you with that mouthwatering flavor that I had to get. Some are noticeably larger than others. Once I got pretty fast with sucking, cracking, separation, and then spitting I began eating at least two to three at one time. These muthafuckas taste perfect enough for me to do all of this to get to this little fucking seed. What the fuck? The time now was around 12:30am. I had already came to the conclusion that I needed to eat enough of these to at least make myself feel like I snacked something. It was definitely no way possible that I was going to eat a whole bag of these. The thought of that is painful. That would take the entire night if not longer, especially if I wanted the outer seasoning, crack, go through the shell separation and spitting, and then finally the seed that awaits inside. This was definitely a multiple process and I never put my hand up to my mouth. The main tools used were my spit, upper and lower front teeth, tongue, and at times the entire mouth. The front upper and lower teeth helped hold the seed in place while I mixed saliva with the persuasive seasoning from the outer layer. Using those particular teeth helped me speed up the process a lot faster. Something else would have sped up the process also. If I would have gained the urge to eat the whole seed handfuls without giving it second thought, I decided that I like the snack, but I pick the wrong moment to eat them.
When I say that I picked the wrong moment, you have to understand that I was hungry for a quick fix. I stopped eating the seeds after a few hours. I didn’t even put a dent in the bag or get close to feeling like my appetite was half way or better off than it was before I started. The crazy part is after a few hours I had Bar-Be-Q residue on my hands. Like a real snack! I even burped after I stopped eating and thought I felt something limiting my hunger. I thought to myself, “the majority of what I was feeling was probably my own saliva.” This is great for in-between meals or can also be an after meal snack. Unfortunately, not a snack to be stared at and put focus on to clip the appetite of a hungry person. It’s not going to happen. Well, maybe for the furry Gerbil family. The snack taste great and inside of the bag the manufacture is very generous with the amount of seeds being placed. Remember that the main goal is to eat the seed. I chose those steps. I have also seen other people spit the shell out. The difference is that this particular Sunflower seed had that muthafuckin Bar-Be-Q flavor, so I couldn’t go straight to cracking these pieces open. Note that the flavoring was only on the outside parts that would be ejected from the mouth. The small seed that you actually eat was normal with absolutely no flavoring at all. Don’t do this as a late night appetite pleaser. Damn, the nature of this product.
Before you try eating these understanding what you have and what you have to do to allow yourself to like this snack and accept its tedious nature. Unless you are one of the ones that says fuck it and crunch and swallow handfuls of the whole seed more bounce to you. Laying in my bed I decided to go all in. They are tasty! Tasty enough where I was gripped and stayed snacking until precisely 1:30am. An hour and forty five minutes later. Why? I guess because I adapted and the seeds are good. This was definitely to time consuming and I was consuming to little at such a hungry moment. Next, I managed to develop the steps and the skill to pop several in my mouth at one time. At least two or three at one time, the sucking, cracking, separation, and spitting out the outer layer pieces. All this only to eat the small seed that was chilling somewhere inside of my mouth. In the beginning after I got good, when I was eating one at a time, after I cracked the outer layer open, the seed would drop right onto my tongue. The negative side to eating multiple pieces at a time is locating the small seed that dropped, but before that make sure you only spit out the shell and not the actual snack which is the seed. I never used my hands to speed up the process or crack any shells open, but I manage to talk myself into pulling one of the edible seeds out of my mouth to stare at. What the fuck? The next time I decide to eat these would be in-between or after a meal. This snack is not a meal replacement but it can be liked.
Max AKA BraineMatter AKA DeWayne White
Max Pro Check Publishing®
©
I popped the first Sunflower seed in my mouth starting at 11:45pm. Before I actually opened the bag I noticed that I was given the Bar-Be-Q flavor. I never knew the seeds came with an added ingredient. Remember I gave the source for my reasoning for having these small snacks. Instead of smashing straight through the outer layer of the seed I began sucking and maneuvering this thing trying to determine if it had a noticeable Bar-Be-Q taste. After taste testing, I guess I will agree with that. Once all the flavor was gone I clamped down hard enough until I heard and felt the shell crack. The cracked portions I would shuffle side to side looking for the small seed to eat. Spitting the wet drained pieces inside of the plastic bag began to take shape like small woodchips. Each one never looking exactly like the one spit out before it. Every few minutes I would reach my hand inside of the bag grabbing a handful but only eating one of these muthafuckas at a time. “What the fuck”, I remember saying out loud, laying sideways, my right elbow holding my head up, feet dangling off the mattress, irritated, and getting pissed with this process, I said, “you got to be kiddin me.” I had a strong urge to start eating the whole Sunflower seed, I’m talking about handfuls at a time. The nature of eating this seed can become what I call tedious snacking! Damn these muthafuckas good though. Speaking of good because they were good I had to decide on a few steps.
Although they taste well, eating these are very time consuming. I decided it was no way possible to get my stomach close to being satisfied if I continued the seeds one by one. The multiple process was completed each time because the flavor kept me reaching for more. Like any other snack some are tastier gripping you with that mouthwatering flavor that I had to get. Some are noticeably larger than others. Once I got pretty fast with sucking, cracking, separation, and then spitting I began eating at least two to three at one time. These muthafuckas taste perfect enough for me to do all of this to get to this little fucking seed. What the fuck? The time now was around 12:30am. I had already came to the conclusion that I needed to eat enough of these to at least make myself feel like I snacked something. It was definitely no way possible that I was going to eat a whole bag of these. The thought of that is painful. That would take the entire night if not longer, especially if I wanted the outer seasoning, crack, go through the shell separation and spitting, and then finally the seed that awaits inside. This was definitely a multiple process and I never put my hand up to my mouth. The main tools used were my spit, upper and lower front teeth, tongue, and at times the entire mouth. The front upper and lower teeth helped hold the seed in place while I mixed saliva with the persuasive seasoning from the outer layer. Using those particular teeth helped me speed up the process a lot faster. Something else would have sped up the process also. If I would have gained the urge to eat the whole seed handfuls without giving it second thought, I decided that I like the snack, but I pick the wrong moment to eat them.
When I say that I picked the wrong moment, you have to understand that I was hungry for a quick fix. I stopped eating the seeds after a few hours. I didn’t even put a dent in the bag or get close to feeling like my appetite was half way or better off than it was before I started. The crazy part is after a few hours I had Bar-Be-Q residue on my hands. Like a real snack! I even burped after I stopped eating and thought I felt something limiting my hunger. I thought to myself, “the majority of what I was feeling was probably my own saliva.” This is great for in-between meals or can also be an after meal snack. Unfortunately, not a snack to be stared at and put focus on to clip the appetite of a hungry person. It’s not going to happen. Well, maybe for the furry Gerbil family. The snack taste great and inside of the bag the manufacture is very generous with the amount of seeds being placed. Remember that the main goal is to eat the seed. I chose those steps. I have also seen other people spit the shell out. The difference is that this particular Sunflower seed had that muthafuckin Bar-Be-Q flavor, so I couldn’t go straight to cracking these pieces open. Note that the flavoring was only on the outside parts that would be ejected from the mouth. The small seed that you actually eat was normal with absolutely no flavoring at all. Don’t do this as a late night appetite pleaser. Damn, the nature of this product.
Before you try eating these understanding what you have and what you have to do to allow yourself to like this snack and accept its tedious nature. Unless you are one of the ones that says fuck it and crunch and swallow handfuls of the whole seed more bounce to you. Laying in my bed I decided to go all in. They are tasty! Tasty enough where I was gripped and stayed snacking until precisely 1:30am. An hour and forty five minutes later. Why? I guess because I adapted and the seeds are good. This was definitely to time consuming and I was consuming to little at such a hungry moment. Next, I managed to develop the steps and the skill to pop several in my mouth at one time. At least two or three at one time, the sucking, cracking, separation, and spitting out the outer layer pieces. All this only to eat the small seed that was chilling somewhere inside of my mouth. In the beginning after I got good, when I was eating one at a time, after I cracked the outer layer open, the seed would drop right onto my tongue. The negative side to eating multiple pieces at a time is locating the small seed that dropped, but before that make sure you only spit out the shell and not the actual snack which is the seed. I never used my hands to speed up the process or crack any shells open, but I manage to talk myself into pulling one of the edible seeds out of my mouth to stare at. What the fuck? The next time I decide to eat these would be in-between or after a meal. This snack is not a meal replacement but it can be liked.
Max AKA BraineMatter AKA DeWayne White
Max Pro Check Publishing®
©
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