The Relentless Pursuit of My Passion For Writing
The past year has been somewhat of a roller-coaster ride. After a few live crossings to London analyzing the Oscar Pistorius trial, my mind was made up. I had to write and publish a book. The title chose itself - To Kill A Fragile Rose: The State's Case Against Oscar Leonard Carl Pistorius. I was determined to relentlessly pursue my passion. I was after all fascinated by law, interpretation of statutes, legal philosophy, forensic medicine and that complex science of law known as inferential reasoning. I was never a fan of jigsaw puzzles, they were too pre-determined, too predictable, boring.
Piecing together pieces of circumstantial evidence until a solid whole emerged formed the very basis of my fascination with law. I listen with three ears instead of two. I listen to what is being said and to what is not being said. I pierce holes where none were previously apparent. I have the knack to reduce that to intelligible, yet easy to understand arguments.
The Pistorius case fell within my chosen area of research, 'The Presumption of Innocence and The Burden Of Proof in Criminal Procedure In The South African Context'. It was to be an arduous journey, a journey which, after all is been said and done requires investment, financial investment, emotional investment and spiritual maturity if not readiness. I had no intention to write a book which would never see the light of day. A book which would lie dormant. One which would not make a difference. A book which would not encourage robust legal debate.
Embarking on the self-publishing journey appeared scary to say the least, but the more I wrote and the more I re-read what I had written, the more my resolve strengthened to see the project to its ultimate conclusion. I suppose that to many others I am nothing but a dreamer, perhaps a hopeless romantic in love with her own work and as self-destructive as that might sound, those detractors would not be too far off the mark.
I am left with just a little over two weeks on my crowdfunding campaign. The price of the books on pre-order was set in Dollars and with the fledgling price of the Rand in relation to the Dollar, things were set to become tricky. The book could (in fact still can be pre-ordered) either as a PDF, an eBook, a print copy or two copies ranging from the equivalent of approximately R84 for a PDF copy to R840 for two hard-cover, autographed books plus an eBook. R84.00, if truth be told, is not much in the grander scheme of things. After all, one could get a cheap bottle of wine for the same price. But, it is the individual who decides what to invest, spend or even waste their money on.
So I have woken up lately, in the still of the night, wondering what I would do if the book does not sell at all. That little voice inside my head comforts me each time. Many, who will read the book will appreciate what it has to offer and I am confident that the word will spread. I realized today that in fact, despite the fact that I would be elated if my book (one of millions of books on the earth), were to become a bestseller, I would celebrate if it sells pretty well but, I also realized that I have reached a point where I do not quite care about what happens to the sales figures.
If at least two libraries in all countries of the world can have a copy of the book on their shelves, my main aim would have been accomplished. The contents of the book should leave readers wiser. The book itself must promote engagement. For like a complex painting, I truly regard this book as a work of art. I am eternally grateful to those who have pre-ordered. I respect those who have opted not to.
To other authors, writers, poets who fear taking the plunge - it is worth every waking moment. Nothing will be as exciting as touching the first hard-cover copy. For now, the crib is being readied for the arrival of this baby. There'll be the proverbial bells and whistles. Perhaps, 100 years from now, someone sitting in a library in a faraway land will be dusting off the dirt and wiping the cover, marveling at a gem which might never make the headlines nor top any bestseller list.
That is the beauty of any form of art, for to me, writing is indeed a fine art. I say this whilst relentlessly pursuing my passion.
Piecing together pieces of circumstantial evidence until a solid whole emerged formed the very basis of my fascination with law. I listen with three ears instead of two. I listen to what is being said and to what is not being said. I pierce holes where none were previously apparent. I have the knack to reduce that to intelligible, yet easy to understand arguments.
The Pistorius case fell within my chosen area of research, 'The Presumption of Innocence and The Burden Of Proof in Criminal Procedure In The South African Context'. It was to be an arduous journey, a journey which, after all is been said and done requires investment, financial investment, emotional investment and spiritual maturity if not readiness. I had no intention to write a book which would never see the light of day. A book which would lie dormant. One which would not make a difference. A book which would not encourage robust legal debate.
Embarking on the self-publishing journey appeared scary to say the least, but the more I wrote and the more I re-read what I had written, the more my resolve strengthened to see the project to its ultimate conclusion. I suppose that to many others I am nothing but a dreamer, perhaps a hopeless romantic in love with her own work and as self-destructive as that might sound, those detractors would not be too far off the mark.
I am left with just a little over two weeks on my crowdfunding campaign. The price of the books on pre-order was set in Dollars and with the fledgling price of the Rand in relation to the Dollar, things were set to become tricky. The book could (in fact still can be pre-ordered) either as a PDF, an eBook, a print copy or two copies ranging from the equivalent of approximately R84 for a PDF copy to R840 for two hard-cover, autographed books plus an eBook. R84.00, if truth be told, is not much in the grander scheme of things. After all, one could get a cheap bottle of wine for the same price. But, it is the individual who decides what to invest, spend or even waste their money on.
So I have woken up lately, in the still of the night, wondering what I would do if the book does not sell at all. That little voice inside my head comforts me each time. Many, who will read the book will appreciate what it has to offer and I am confident that the word will spread. I realized today that in fact, despite the fact that I would be elated if my book (one of millions of books on the earth), were to become a bestseller, I would celebrate if it sells pretty well but, I also realized that I have reached a point where I do not quite care about what happens to the sales figures.
If at least two libraries in all countries of the world can have a copy of the book on their shelves, my main aim would have been accomplished. The contents of the book should leave readers wiser. The book itself must promote engagement. For like a complex painting, I truly regard this book as a work of art. I am eternally grateful to those who have pre-ordered. I respect those who have opted not to.
To other authors, writers, poets who fear taking the plunge - it is worth every waking moment. Nothing will be as exciting as touching the first hard-cover copy. For now, the crib is being readied for the arrival of this baby. There'll be the proverbial bells and whistles. Perhaps, 100 years from now, someone sitting in a library in a faraway land will be dusting off the dirt and wiping the cover, marveling at a gem which might never make the headlines nor top any bestseller list.
That is the beauty of any form of art, for to me, writing is indeed a fine art. I say this whilst relentlessly pursuing my passion.
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