I need to explore the issue of hidden or obvious wounds suffered from indignities. These wounds can fester inside people for years and even Believers may experience difficulty in freely forgiving the perpetrators for the loss of dignity so severe that their spirit is deeply wounded and one’s personal dignity and self-esteem has suffered harm. I refer to deep humiliations such as a rape, or sexual and physical abuse as a child, maybe a cheating partner, or perhaps for a punishment inflicted, or a beating, betrayal and defamation.
The wounded spirit runs deep and is difficult to heal. Years later the hurts surface like a post traumatic experience. There is a sense of anger and helplessness to bring closure to the issue; the desire to go back in time and reverse the incident so that it never happened, and even to enact revenge on the person who caused the wound. It also causes self-blame and thus the unforgiveness burns the heart like wild passion.
The loss of face and feeling of shame comes from the pride of life . There is an ideal of manliness that carries the idea that it is more bearable for a man to die than to suffer an utter humiliation and loss of dignity. The idea has a certain truth to it, and in situations that have already occurred, some people feel that they want to die. As a result, tears flow that hardens the heart rather than softening it. Plus there is a chronic questioning of self – ‘why did I allow myself to be humiliated?’ But situations happen that set up individuals for a loss of face. Once the shame has been experienced, bars of iron shut out areas of the heart that harbor the deep wound. Nevertheless, the anger will manifest when confronted. The deep shame causes a loss of trust in people and a hardening of the soul, because the soul is not prepared to suffer the pain of the indignity again. Painful issues confront many people and closure is hard to find. Faith Crisis - Not Really: Unexpected Christian Growth