Staying Happily Married


Before our wedding, the priest told us that the divorce rate among newlyweds was fifty per cent. (That was seventeen years ago) Since then I'm sure it's gone up, but we never became a part of that statistic. The priest told us always to remember the four F's of marriage and we would be fine.


Fidelity - You have just agreed to keep yourself for your spouse for the rest of your life, stick to your vow and you will always move forward in your relationship from a solid place. Your partner will know this as an absolute and it will create the foundation from which you both will move forward in your life together. It's a place of refuge that you will feel safe in as you enjoy life's journey together.

Friendship - You have just married your best friend and you don't even know it yet. Throughout your life together, you will share good times and bad, passion and sorrow, success and failure. Your best friend will be there with you through it all to support and motivate you, to console and grieve with you, to celebrate the good times and help you pick up the pieces when things fall apart. This friendship will evolve each year you spend together, though you may only see it once in a while.

Finance - You are now bound to each other's assets and debts. Always think about how your financial actions will affect your spouse, not just yourself, and you'll avoid a maelstrom of turmoil. To this day I have to actively keep my wife in balance financially. Her indiscretions aren't a tragedy, but left unchecked, they would become a real problem for us. She does the same for me whenever the need arises and things have worked out well. Always discuss your finances together and out loud, you may need her to balance you and you don't even know it yet. (I didn’t)

Family- Along with the ring, you just received your very own family. I'm not talking about your in-laws, I'm talking about your spouse. The two of you two together are your very own nuclear family, never lose sight of that fact. Your extended family consists of everyone you are now related to and they will take the place in your life that you choose to give them. Believe it or not, this is the most important F. If you let the extended family influence either of you too much it will create tension and nothing good will come of it. Your partner will resent them and that will lead either to lonely nights on the couch for one of you or worse. More than money or friendship, the family can wreak the most havoc on a marriage.

Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight. The anger will fester and grow, which will take you to places you don't want to visit. Always, always, settle things before your head hits the pillow and you'll get to spend the next hundred years with the most awesome person on earth.

One last thing, don’t forget the mystery. As the years pass people tend to let slip the things that they would keep to themselves when they were first married. Your spouse doesn’t need to know all of the little details of your existence so try to keep a little mystery in your marriage for as long as you can, when you’re both old and grey your partner won’t be able to remember anything you say anyhow, so save it for then.

(I’ve been married for seventeen years to the greatest woman on planet earth)

Please leave a comment if you like this article, thanks.

Christopher Sharp
Author
"The Last Ticket"
http://getBook.at/TheLastTicket