I've started doing a new thing on Twitter, creating facts. Never been overly fond of facts before. They tend to slip my mind. And they change so much, depending on who you talk to.

So I began posting my own versions of factual truth, such as the indisputable fact that wood was originally made from rocks.

A sampling:

Pain doesn't really hurt, it just seems that way.

Giggling was invented by a baby.

In the future, short people will rule.

Lawyers used to be Satan, but they sued and got out of it.

Science is the science of being scientific.

The ear of a beagle puppy is softer than a cloud by 1.42 softograms.

Monkeys used to be king of the world.

Burgeoning is a lost art.

They talk like that in Joisey 'cause they ma got they gum stuck in they teeth.

Questions were the first answers.

Brains were originally located in the right asscheek.

Cinderella's birth name was Elmer Fudd.

The diameter of a man is directly proportional to pie. 

Some people may call it stupid; others idiotic; while some may term it pointless or a waste of time. Not sure who to agree with. They could be right. And then again….

It's true, I swear!

LWIII