SOLVED. Adult Comedic Science Fiction short story about a carrot on a satellite > Likes and Comments

Read this short story in the 1990s, might be older. Scientists launch a satellite filled with experiments, including one involving carrots. Somehow the satellite becomes sentient and begins gaining access to all the world's communications and computer networks. The two head scientists refuse to shut if off until it announces to the world that they're secretly sleeping together and demands that its 'parents' get married so it won't be illegitimate. All attempts to bring down the satellite fail. The satellite, fearing nuclear war may be iminent thanks to its access to hidden communications, has the scientists transfered to a remote town in the Midwest with a million dollars in their back account. It also has the local market deliver a bushel of carrots as a joke, but it screws up the conversion from binary and they deliver a whole truckload of carrots. The story ends with the scientists going in for dinner, and the man saying he doesn't want any carrots, it would be too much like transubstatiation.

That's Something Up There Likes Me by Alfred Bester

It's in these collections: https://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/title.c...

Thank you!