Sai's Journal > Likes and Comments
tysmmmmm
ok so i'm really pissed rn. i was in a super good mood earlier today, idk why just the weather was really nice outside and i went hoco shopping last night and i couldn't stop thinking about my outfit, and so around like 2 i decided to take advantage of my good mood and started on my math homework. and it took me three fucking hours to finish, and completely sucked up all my energy and took away my mood. my legs hurt and i feel so drained and i don't even know. i was in such a good mood earlier and i wanted to finally have a weekend to myself, but now it's the evening and i have almost no time left. so another day is wasted.
![Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1767114892p1/177360076.jpg)
Sai :) wrote: "ok so i'm really pissed rn. i was in a super good mood earlier today, idk why just the weather was really nice outside and i went hoco shopping last night and i couldn't stop thinking about my outf..."I'm so sorry, that really sucks. You deserved to have the weekend to yourself and have fun. But I'm proud of you for getting your homework done and I really hope you'll have time to just have fun and relax soon
thanks so much, yeah me too :)
today has actually been shockingly amazingthis week is hoco week, which i thought would be dumb but it's actually really fun. today at lunch the teachers had a "quad day" performance and it was so funny, they were using all the weird slang and at one point all the staff members went "SIX SEVEN", hands and all, and i lowkey wish i had recorded that. i had a quiz after that in my least favorite class, but i feel like i aced it, and then i walked home in the rain. so today is really looking up.
goals for tomorrow:finish math hw
study for bio
start a new page in my sketchbook
didn't get much sleep last night (fell asleep at like 3:30 and then woke up around 6) but i've been decent this week, i'm really excited for hoco i want to see what it's like. and i'm also kinda obsessed with my outfit.
favorite things about myself:my eyes
my hair
my nails
my athleticness
my writing
my jeans
things i want to work on:
procrastination
going to bed on time
yah 😂
tw!alsooo i have a question about sh
is it bad that i scratch myself a lot?
like a lot??
idk why i do it, i've always done it, and i can't remember a day that i don't. i just do it when i feel stressed or embarrased or smth
Sai :) wrote: "tw!alsooo i have a question about sh
is it bad that i scratch myself a lot?
like a lot??
idk why i do it, i've always done it, and i can't remember a day that i don't. i just do it when i feel str..."
If it leaves a mark, hurts, or breaks the skin at all or is intended to hurt yourself it is definitely sh I think….
Sai :) wrote: "tw!alsooo i have a question about sh
is it bad that i scratch myself a lot?
like a lot??
idk why i do it, i've always done it, and i can't remember a day that i don't. i just do it when i feel str..."
Depends on the intent. For example: I have naturally dry skin, so I scratch at my skin a lot. That isn't SH. But when I have panic attacks, I have a tendency to scratch my arms till they're red. That is SH.
SH (Or NSSI) is any self inflicted injury or pain on oneself. This can include but is not limited to: Cutting oneself, the burning of skin, the act of hitting yourself (Or slamming your head against a wall repeatedly), and others.
thank you guys smalso please go to sleep <3 yall amazing peeps deserve rest
(ignore the hypocrisy..)
@Sai Ofc! And thank you, but I fear insomnia is a dick LOL.
it is thooooo(for context i haven't been officially diagnosed but i'm like 99% sure i have it)
today has been okayi hated last night, i went to bed at almost midnight right after doing my homework and my sister was being a bitch to me and i just lay in bed crying for a long time before actually going to sleep
today was better though, pe was fun and my bio test went well, and i'm also really excited for hoco. i just hope that i can go to bed on time tonight
@sai I’m so sorry that happened to you last night, I’m glad today went better tho and I hope you get a good nights rest. If you don’t just know I also have trouble sleeping so you won’t be the only one awake at midnight lol we can stay up together!
thank you so much, i really do appreciate it ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and yes lol, we can stay up together 😂
GUYS I AM SO EXCITED FOR HOCO TOMORROW IDK WHY I JUST AMi actually really like looking forward to things, because whenever i start stressing out about something random, i can try my best to forget it and think about whatever is making me happy
alsooo if yall want i might upload a pic of my outfit
Sai :) wrote: "GUYS I AM SO EXCITED FOR HOCO TOMORROW IDK WHY I JUST AMi actually really like looking forward to things, because whenever i start stressing out about something random, i can try my best to forget..."
omgggg yassssssssss HAVE FUNNNNNNN!!!
yesssss uploaddd!!!
tyyyyyy :)and i probably will tmrw :) :)
i'm in a really good mood rnjust came back from hoco and it was shockingly fun
i'll hopefully sleep well tonight, i feel good
alsooo rate the outfiti literally bought tall boots just because i'm insecure about my legs lol but they went shockingly well with my dress
i wanted one of those cool leather jacket thingies too but then it would be too expensive lmao
maybe next time
https://www.goodreads.com/photo/user/...
do i?? 😅ty so much guys yall don't know how much that means ❤️
tyyy <3 🥹
Sai :) wrote: "do i?? 😅ty so much guys yall don't know how much that means ❤️"
YESSS! You are absolutely gorgeous! You're killing it in that dress!
Sai :) wrote: "alsooo rate the outfiti literally bought tall boots just because i'm insecure about my legs lol but they went shockingly well with my dress
i wanted one of those cool leather jacket thingies too b..."
omg it looks amazinggg
Sai :) wrote: "alsooo rate the outfiti literally bought tall boots just because i'm insecure about my legs lol but they went shockingly well with my dress
i wanted one of those cool leather jacket thingies too b..."
OMGGG GURLLL UR STUNNINGGG
ty guys so muchhhhh <333
WAITTTT SHUT THE WINDOW YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS
tysmmmm nidhi
Sai :) wrote: "alsooo rate the outfiti literally bought tall boots just because i'm insecure about my legs lol but they went shockingly well with my dress
i wanted one of those cool leather jacket thingies too b..."
Girll what YOU ARE GORGEUOUSSS
i'm really not that pretty guys, thank you so much though ❤️❤️❤️barnette you don't know how much that means to me <3
Sai :) wrote: "i'm really not that pretty guys, thank you so much though ❤️❤️❤️barnette you don't know how much that means to me <3"WDYM NOT THAT PRETTY 😭 😭 and ofcc girl seriously
ty so much guysssss <3333
ok so i'm really stressed out rn and i'm in a terrible mood. i came home at 4 today and have literally only 2 hours to do ALL my hw, plus everything i do for fun, just because my mom thinks it's ok to randomly take away my time on a weekday. it's for diwali, so i get it, but she literally told me that i wouldn't be free for four freaking hours YESTERDAY, so i had almost no time to plan. and i have a lot of schoolwork, and i barely have time to finish it and i feel like the hours are closing in on me because i can't do anything. and i'm super pissed and have no idea what i'm doing. i hate working like this. i always finish my hw at the last possible second, when i'm super stressed out, every single damn time, and it's actually getting to me.
i feel like i'm stuck in a cycle. every day i wake up feeling super stressed and overwhelmed by everything i have to do, but then i calm down and convince myself that i don't need to worry and i end up procrastinating everything. and then, at the last moment, i get super stressed and start crashing out and when i go to bed, i'm feeling overwhelmed again. and when i wake up, it starts again. i don't know what to do. i'm either overly worried or overly calm and it's getting me nowhere.
just putting this out there and i know a lot of people don't relate but i feel like there isn't enough representation for underweight people who're also bodyshamed. like i know it's unhealthy, and i should eat plenty, but it's also not okay to comment on it every single time you see me? people are always like, "why are you so skinny?" and "you're really thin" and it's never in a good way, and it actually pisses me off. i have this one family friend and he's always commenting on it, and it actually hurts. it actually gets to me. i've always been super ashamed of how my arms and legs and torso and back look just because you can see the bones, or i'm really thin in some places, and i literally can't look at myself in the mirror without thinking that i look like a skeleton or my legs could use a lot more curves or my hips could be wider or some other bulllshit.and so many people also just automatically assume that i'm weak just because i'm thin but it's literally not true, believe it or not it is actually possible to have muscle but not a lot of fat! the thing is though while i do have lots of leg muscle i have really weak arms, and that hurts a lot because i can't even prove to people that they're wrong. and even if we're on the topic of leg muscles, which i have a lot of, people just say that the only reason they're visible or my legs look strong is because i'm thin and there's less fat covering my muscles so i don't even need to be strong for them to be visible (i've genuinely been told this before). and the thing is it's not even true, like it takes actual hard work to develop my strength and i put effort into exercising every day and seeing it dismissed like that actually hurts a lot. and it gets to me. i'm so tired of people thinking it's okay to comment on my weight or assume things about me because of my weight. i'm just sick of it. like why can i not even wear shorts without someone telling me that i look like a stick? (actual statement that i have heard dozens of times before). even some of my friend tell me stuff like that and i know they aren't trying to be mean but it still hurts, why does nobody see that?
Sai :) wrote: "i feel like i'm stuck in a cycle. every day i wake up feeling super stressed and overwhelmed by everything i have to do, but then i calm down and convince myself that i don't need to worry and i en..."That's so hard I'm sorry 😭 the stress won't last forever, weekends and school breaks and summer exist, you'll have a chance to catch up and collect yourself. You're really strong you got this <3
Sai :) wrote: "just putting this out there and i know a lot of people don't relate but i feel like there isn't enough representation for underweight people who're also bodyshamed. like i know it's unhealthy, and ..."THIS. YES. THANK YOU. This needs to be said more. Skinny shaming is just as serious as fatphobia and needs to be recognized more. Your body is beautiful no matter your body type, whether you're super skinny or super chubby or anywhere in between. As long as you're healthy, no one has a right to comment on your body and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
literally 😭tysm barnette <3like i know that i could be healthier. and hearing it once is okay. but i don't need to hear it every second of the day. and i don't need to hear how ugly or how weak you think i am.
Barnette ⋆˙⟡ wrote: "Sai :) wrote: "i feel like i'm stuck in a cycle. every day i wake up feeling super stressed and overwhelmed by everything i have to do, but then i calm down and convince myself that i don't need to..."thank you so much <3 this actually means a lot, i'll come back to this whenever i need it tysm <3 🫂
Sai :) wrote: "literally 😭tysm barnette <3like i know that i could be healthier. and hearing it once is okay. but i don't need to hear it every second of the day. and i don't need to hear how ugly or how weak yo..."
Exactly. You are not ugly, you're a beautiful human being who deserves to feel comfortable in themself <3
Sai :) wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ wrote: "Sai :) wrote: "i feel like i'm stuck in a cycle. every day i wake up feeling super stressed and overwhelmed by everything i have to do, but then i calm down and convince myself..."I'm so glad 🫂
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