Roxane’s answer to “Hi. I am white, I am a feminist. I am very big on intersectional feminism and I want to know how I …” > Likes and Comments
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Thank you Roxane. I understand the question but you're right, it's not black women's place to tell us how to be a better feminist. It behooves us to figure that out on our own by listening to women of color, reading women of color, amplifying and supporting women of color and not centering whiteness and making it about our own selfish point of view. The term "white feminism" doesn't bother me because I see it constantly, white women not being willing to include trans women, for example, and further marginalizing already marginalized people. To me being an intersectional feminism is about uplifting others and being willing to be silent and step aside and listen.
I guess I worry frequently about if I would be accidentally misappropriating something that is not mine just because I like it. Just because I have the power to take it? How to grow discernment not to hurt other people's feelings while trying to learn things.
And please, please, please stop putting "white" or "black" in front of everything you say, it is not really good. It only makes it worse for you and makes other people uncomfortable. Just say "feminist". Or "the woman", not "that white woman" or "that Indian woman, or the "black woman, or the Jewish woman", we are JUST WOMEN!!! It only proves to people you are prejudiced. Sorry but it really comes across that way. Thank you.
One thing I am leaning I can do is to identify patterns in how white women do violence against people of color, and use my constant proximity to other white women to try and de-normalize it.
Like at this moment, knowing that calling the police on your neighbors for inconveniencing you or making you uncomfortable is just. not. OK. And making sure your friends understand that too.
Or the ways in which we are socialized to say things that we think sound nice and civil but are actually backhanded ways of putting upon others while maintaining our own privilege. "Oh, you do so much activist work, I wish I had that kind of passion/energy/etc" when the reality is that often people do the work because they are suffering the most and don't have the luxury of standing by because they feel exhausted about it.
I suppose if I had to sum it all up in a word, it would be -- listen. We have been insulated from a lot and treated in particular ways because we are white women. We often just don't get it. We have to start listening very carefully to the reality going on outside our bubbles. Even when our rights are still being threatened, too.
Fellow white woman here. If the asker of this question or any other white folks on this thread have anything they want to talk through, think through, unpack, pls feel free to message me so we don't put the burden on BIWOC.
exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself, Ms. Gay.
I try not to put race on everything because my thoughts are unique I don't think like everybody who looks like me.
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Katie
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Jun 04, 2018 07:06AM
Thank you Roxane. I understand the question but you're right, it's not black women's place to tell us how to be a better feminist. It behooves us to figure that out on our own by listening to women of color, reading women of color, amplifying and supporting women of color and not centering whiteness and making it about our own selfish point of view. The term "white feminism" doesn't bother me because I see it constantly, white women not being willing to include trans women, for example, and further marginalizing already marginalized people. To me being an intersectional feminism is about uplifting others and being willing to be silent and step aside and listen.
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I guess I worry frequently about if I would be accidentally misappropriating something that is not mine just because I like it. Just because I have the power to take it? How to grow discernment not to hurt other people's feelings while trying to learn things.
And please, please, please stop putting "white" or "black" in front of everything you say, it is not really good. It only makes it worse for you and makes other people uncomfortable. Just say "feminist". Or "the woman", not "that white woman" or "that Indian woman, or the "black woman, or the Jewish woman", we are JUST WOMEN!!! It only proves to people you are prejudiced. Sorry but it really comes across that way. Thank you.
One thing I am leaning I can do is to identify patterns in how white women do violence against people of color, and use my constant proximity to other white women to try and de-normalize it. Like at this moment, knowing that calling the police on your neighbors for inconveniencing you or making you uncomfortable is just. not. OK. And making sure your friends understand that too.
Or the ways in which we are socialized to say things that we think sound nice and civil but are actually backhanded ways of putting upon others while maintaining our own privilege. "Oh, you do so much activist work, I wish I had that kind of passion/energy/etc" when the reality is that often people do the work because they are suffering the most and don't have the luxury of standing by because they feel exhausted about it.
I suppose if I had to sum it all up in a word, it would be -- listen. We have been insulated from a lot and treated in particular ways because we are white women. We often just don't get it. We have to start listening very carefully to the reality going on outside our bubbles. Even when our rights are still being threatened, too.
Fellow white woman here. If the asker of this question or any other white folks on this thread have anything they want to talk through, think through, unpack, pls feel free to message me so we don't put the burden on BIWOC.
exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself, Ms. Gay.
I try not to put race on everything because my thoughts are unique I don't think like everybody who looks like me.
