Rebecka’s Comments (group member since Jul 28, 2009)

Rebecka’s comments from the Ye Newe Story Guild group.

im here

Approved

You have claimed it

You have claimed it

im claiming torn by sophie

all claims so far are approved<3

oh any problems just let me knoe

well im ur welcoming committee so WELCOME are u finding ur way around this group?

who all is new here?

hey everyone

do whatever fits u i guess

u claim fears truce =D

this is the waiting list, there are 8 spots, u look at the story's if it says waiting to be claimed u can claim it, if all the spots are filled and u r a writer please wait till a spot opens and then apply in the writers application

there are 4/8 spots available


Name of Applicant: Rukhsar
Name of Story: Arianna
Link to Story: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/6172...
Have we reviewed a story of yours before: Nope
Do you want a numerical review, or a summary: Yes
Did you read the rules: Yas
Additional Info: the genre isnt horror but thats the closest thing i could use

(Claimed by ashara 4/11/10)

Name of Applicant: Ilana Wilson
Name of Story: Fear's Truce
Link to Story: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/6180...
Have we reviewed a story of yours before: I don't believe so.
Do you want a numerical review, or a summary: Anything would be greatly appreciated. I love feedback, and I also like to here how people saw the story, because that is also very helpful to me.
Did you read the rules: Yes.
Additional Info: This story is still in progress, but there is enough for this, I think. I hope so.


(claimed by Crista 4/10/10)

Name of Applicant:Sophie
Name of Story: Torn (it used to be called High School Dramas, but i changed it recently)
Link to Story: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4688...
Have we reviewed a story of yours before: nope
Do you want a numerical review, or a summary: summary wud be better coz i wanna know if its good or not and wat i can improve on
Did you read the rules: yes
Additional Info: its still in progress, i will be adding chapters wen i can, but seeing as im in gr 12 atm its becoming really busy- so please still keep following the story =]


(Claimed By Rebecka 4/11/10)


Name of Applicant: Emma
Name of Story: The Girl in Black
Link to Story: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Have we reviewed a story of yours before: nope
Do you want a numerical review, or a summary: numbers, please!
Did you read the rules: yep


(Claimed by Richelle 4/11/10)

The Night- by Chandani

W. R. K. R.- by Cali

Soul Stealer- by Brigid

Rinec and the Shadow Girl- by Saved by Grace

Forget-Me-Not -by Ephona

Tempus Fidgets -by Seth

Somebody- by Adrienne

In the Dark- by Rayana

Falling by -Chandani

Roses for June- by Roni

Karen Kelly Kipplebee- by Molli

The Shadow Queen- by Saved by Grace

Mirror of the Shining -by Tale_of_lost_ink

The Crazies -by Alex

Sara Susan Silverman -by Molli

(Untitled) -by Alex

Lupus -by Olivia

Life is a Lemon -by Adrienne

Lyle and Olivia- by Lyle

Untitled- by Miriam

Cursed -by Wolf

A Single Rose- by Riley

You r added to the waiting list i will message u if someones going to review it =)

everyone so far is Approved<3

Use this to apply

Name of Applicant:
Name of Story:
Link to Story:
Have we reviewed a story of yours before:
Do you want a numerical review, or a summary:
Did you read the rules:
Additional Info:

there is one story waiting to be claimed, if u want to claim it just say so here

i will be adding rules if i see that i need to

1:once u put that u claim a book and i notice it please do not change the book u want to claim

2:claim a book only if u have time to review it

3:you have 2 weeks to complete your review unless u ask a mod. for an extension

HHI

anybody got fun dip?

Okay, so here’s my review of Miriam’s book, the untitled book. it’s a little harsh, and I’m sorry about that but here it is. Miriam I see a lot of potential in your writing, but u keep it to simple, no twists, no getting to know the characters. You’re a fantastic writer, and you should continue that story, but u need to make it unique. What’s so different about the characters? When I read your book, it should make me not want to stop, you need to add some details, and some twists. U need to stretch it out.


Plot: 25/50
I don’t see any plot, I know the suddenly fall in love, but shouldn’t you space it out more, they meet and then they date. The end?

Description: 30/40
the description that u put all in all was great but you could have added more
For example: He walked her to her class, which was chemistry.
He walked her to her class, with a little hop in his step, when he approached the class it happened to be chemistry, go figure.

Add a little more, or over exaggerate, make it unique , make it your own.

Character Development: 20/40
I didn’t know your characters that well, there wasn’t a lot of change to them, they fell in love so quickly, that u didn’t really tell me much about the character.

Twists & Effect: 10/40
there was no twist until the last sentence.
It was a night they would never forget. Or is it?
There was really no other twists.

Dialogue & Emotion: 10/35
I saw a little dialogue. And there was very little emotion. your characters don’t react to each others emotion.

Mechanics:34 /35
the grammar and spelling is almost flawless , and so is the flow of your sentences.
It is really good.

Originality: 5/10
I’ve read so many love storys that are love at first sight and you need to make yours unique show people its different, make them want to read your story.

Overall Score: 139/250


Notes: keep it up girly