Comments on SugarKink BDSM - page 1

Shadowlands is definitely in a club. It's awesome, but it's in a club.

Michele from Read Our Lips Book Blog wrote: "Shadowlands is definitely in a club. It's awesome, but it's in a club."

:) I want a club like it which I could go to, well, if I could afford it! lol

♆ Bookaddict wrote: "Michele from Read Our Lips Book Blog wrote: "Shadowlands is definitely in a club. It's awesome, but it's in a club."

:) I want a club like it which I could go to, well, if I could afford it! lol"

Just become a landscape artist! Free membership! Lol

I just brought up the club because at the top of the poll, it says "no clubs". This list is more than sugarkink for sure.

Michele from Read Our Lips Book Blog wrote: "♆ Bookaddict wrote: "Michele from Read Our Lips Book Blog wrote: "Shadowlands is definitely in a club. It's awesome, but it's in a club."

:) I want a club like it which I could go to, well, if I..."

Yeah, people do add stuff to it and I haven't really paid attention. And I can't seem to remove them. :(

@ Michele - I figured it out! Okay, I removed all of the Shadowlands one because they have clubs and others added them, not me.

♆ Bookaddict wrote: "@ Michele - I figured it out! Okay, I removed all of the Shadowlands one because they have clubs and others added them, not me."

:). Comfort Object by Annabelle Joseph isn't sugarkink either, it's closer to master/slave and I think Tygers is a club as well. I think you're right, people don't understand the difference. I call sugarkink-slap and tickle. I know BDSM is new to a lot of people, so the subtleties are lost. It's a great BDSM list though! :)

Michele from Read Our Lips Book Blog wrote: "♆ Bookaddict wrote: "@ Michele - I figured it out! Okay, I removed all of the Shadowlands one because they have clubs and others added them, not me."

:). Comfort Object by Annabelle Joseph isn't ..."

Gah! That made it on there too? Whiskey Tango FOXTROT!!!

Thanks Michele. If you see any others, let me know. These books belong on another one we have.

I think the Wicked Lovers series isn't sugarkink. Book 4 has Kata doing electrolysis and piercing her clit and nipples to please her master. Book 1 has the H sharing the h to give her her fantasy. Tygers, Hawkeye and Training Amy, and Mercy by Annabelle Joseph? Anything by Joseph wouldn't be sugarkink, I don't think. Not sure.

I think it's great you're doing this list. Especially since the Fifty Shades trilogy is what everyone is talking about. A sugarkink list is a good place for readers to begin thier journey with BDSM. I probably wouldn't pick Training Amy to intro a reader to BDSM. Lol

Hell, Fifty Shades H has a red room of pain! Lol

Michele from Read Our Lips Book Blog wrote: "I think the Wicked Lovers series isn't sugarkink. Book 4 has Kata doing electrolysis and piercing her clit and nipples to please her master. Book 1 has the H sharing the h to give her her fantasy..."

Thanks Michele! I really appreciate it. I'm so bad with listsopia. I start it off and then don't come check to see what has happened. Some of the books you mentioned, I haven't read. I'll work on removing those.

Actually, we have a Gateway to BDSM listopia too! I guess I need to head on over there to check to see what's going on with that one. This is actually good timing since one of the other BDSM mods is doing our Spring Listopia and bookshelf clean up. She started in early March. It just takes time...and when we want to be reading instead...

Afterlife has a scene in a club ;)

@ Michele - which ones are the Tyger ones? I think I fixed the one you mentioned.

@ Glamdring - Awesome! Thank you. I've removed that one as well.

You are welcome :)

♆ Bookaddict wrote: "@ Michele - which ones are the Tyger ones? I think I fixed the one you mentioned.


My pleasure!

@ Glamdring - Awesome! Thank you. I've removed that one as well."

It's numbers 51 (three way tie) and 54 and 57. It's a series. I think Tygers is a club. I haven't read that series yet.

Michele from Read Our Lips Book Blog wrote: "♆ Bookaddict wrote: "@ Michele - which ones are the Tyger ones? I think I fixed the one you mentioned.


My pleasure!

@ Glamdring - Awesome! Thank you. I've removed that one as well."

It's num..."

Thanks! I'll take care of that one too.

@ Michele - I removed all the club Tyger ones.

♆ Bookaddict wrote: "@ Michele - I removed all the club Tyger ones."

Cool. I feel bad being the one to piss in other's cheerios. Lol

I was wondering if I could add those following books by Megan Hart? Or are they off topic?

Dirty
Broken
Stranger

Michele from Read Our Lips Book Blog wrote: "♆ Bookaddict wrote: "@ Michele - I removed all the club Tyger ones."

Cool. I feel bad being the one to piss in other's cheerios. Lol"

lol - that's not my fetish... but you know, maybe for someone else. ^_^

Glamdring wrote: "I was wondering if I could add those following books by Megan Hart? Or are they off topic?

Dirty
Broken
Stranger"

Hi Glamdring - those are more contemporary romance with erotica. This list is focused on books that authors/publishers push as BDSM.

Ok. Thank you.

Hi!
I'm not sure Submissive Beauty belongs to this list. They are in clubs and there are scenes of inspektions that I don't consider SugarKink.

I was curious to see the list and thought i might find more suggestions to read but I a lot of book on this list do not fit the requirements. Especially the Lora Leigh books, which I love.

Russo wrote: "I was curious to see the list and thought i might find more suggestions to read but I a lot of book on this list do not fit the requirements. Especially the Lora Leigh books, which I love."

Which lora leigh do you feel isn't SugarKink? What is your definition of SugarKink?

♆ BookAddict wrote: "Russo wrote: "I was curious to see the list and thought i might find more suggestions to read but I a lot of book on this list do not fit the requirements. Especially the Lora Leigh books, which I ..."

I'm just going by the description of the list "close to vanilla" and no clubs. For me Knight would fit this description but Lora Leigh's Bound Hearts would not. It revolves around members of a particular club and it's a split on which book your reading, some have a very heavy hand in bdsm. Maya Banks Sweet Temptation is heavy on the s/m but I love that book and that series and some do fall on this list. Maybe I'm being to picky? I love a lot of the books on this list though, apparently give me some kink, any kink and I'm a happy camper.

Russo wrote: "I'm just going by the description of the list "close to vanilla" and no clubs. For me Knight would fit this description but Lora Leigh's Bound Hearts would not. It revolves around members of a particular club and it's a split on which book your reading, some have a very heavy hand in bdsm. Maya Banks Sweet Temptation is heavy on the s/m but I love that book and that series and some do fall on this list. Maybe I'm being to picky? I love a lot of the books on this list though, apparently give me some kink, any kink and I'm a happy camper. "

Hi Russo! I can definitely see your point. I'll have to take a closer look at these. Sometimes people add stuff because they can. :/ We try to stay vigilant but it doesn't always work. :(

You might want to try some on this list - genre-SugarKink

Russo wrote: "...It revolves around members of a particular club and it's a split on which book your reading, some have a very heavy hand in bdsm...."

IIRC, the club in LL's Bound Hearts series is not a BDSM club--more akin to a country club but instead of golf, commonalities are sexual activities and kinks (namely, sharing their women). Been years since I read them but *think* that very few of the sex scenes occur there (altho I do recall one w/ the twins) and one book isn't even set in the DC area.

Also, if I were pressed, I would consider the Bound Hearts series as edging into D/s (I can't recall any which I would say was heavy BDSM). But that's just my personal gauge and I realise that ranges will vary depending on the individual.

FWIW, hope this helps. :)

ETA: soon wrote:

IIRC, the club in LL's Bound Hearts series is not a BDSM club--more akin to a country club but instead of golf, commonalities are sexual activities and kinks (namely, sharing their women). Been years since I read them but *think* that very few of the sex scenes occur there (altho I do recall one w/ the twins) and one book isn't even set in the DC area.

Also, if I were pressed, I would consider the Bound Hearts series as edging into D/s (I can't recall any which I would say was heavy BDSM). But that's just my personal gauge and I realise that ranges will vary depending on the individual.

FWIW, hope this helps. :)

"Russo wrote: "...It revolves around members of a particular club and it's a split on which book your reading, some have a very heavy hand in bdsm...."

IIRC, the club in LL's Bound Hearts series is..."

Doh! You are correct ETA. That's why I was drawing a blank. I did read those and enjoyed that series. It wasn't a BDSM club, but more a gentlemen's club with the exception of 2 women allowed. They (Edit- they = men) were there to chat. The men weren't always there sex; it's a male bonding bar. Just whenever "Red" showed up for some backdoor action so she wouldn't lose her virginity.

The focus of those series was really more erotic and alpha males. So, yup, I can see it as more D/s too. It's a toss up if people want to consider it SugarKink.

Regardless, that series was eye-opening for me and totally a good fantasy.

LOL, yeah, quite eye-opening for me as well. A Bound Heart book probably wasn't my very first ménage but the series was definitely one of the earlier ones. Needless to say, there was a bit of ʘₒʘ among my group of friends at the time. :)

ETA: soon wrote: "LOL, yeah, quite eye-opening for me as well. A Bound Heart book probably wasn't my very first ménage but the series was definitely one of the earlier ones. Needless to say, there was a bit of ʘₒʘ..."

They were good "alone time" books. hehehe

Loved those books!!!

It looks like a lot of the books on this list really don't fit the requirements of being very close to vanilla and especially very little SM or D/s. A lot of them seem to be books in which BDSM is the central theme.

Rainbowheart wrote: "It looks like a lot of the books on this list really don't fit the requirements of being very close to vanilla and especially very little SM or D/s. A lot of them seem to be books in which BDSM is ..."

Hi Rainbow, we'll look at it again and see if people added addition ones that don't qualify.

Please note, the central theme could be called BDSM and there could be BDSM terms used but it contains very little BDSM. It's the lighter ones which is why we created the term - SugarKink. This way it's a good way for those who enjoy the lighter ones to read these books. ^_^

Thanks! I don't read BDSM, but I did think "sugarkink" was more the lighter side of the genre, basically some occasional spanking/bondage in an otherwise vanilla relationship? A lot of the books seem more like just regular BDSM to me, where the entire theme of the relationship is dom/sub, and it sounds like most of the sexual scenes involve BDSM.

All the books on this list that have words like "Bound" or "Dom" or "Submission" in the title look totally like 50 Shades of Grey territory to me, not just kinky sort-of-vanilla couples that like to play around with that kind of stuff in bed occasionally.

Rainbowheart wrote: "Thanks! I don't read BDSM, but I did think "sugarkink" was more the lighter side of the genre, basically some occasional spanking/bondage in an otherwise vanilla relationship? A lot of the books seem more like just regular BDSM to me, where the entire theme of the relationship is dom/sub, and it sounds like most of the sexual scenes involve BDSM.

All the books on this list that have words like "Bound" or "Dom" or "Submission" in the title look totally like 50 Shades of Grey territory to me, not just kinky sort-of-vanilla couples that like to play around with that kind of stuff in bed occasionally.
"

It "could" be interpreted that way. However, if we are comparing to 50 Shades of Gray, which isn't BDSM at all, so that makes it difficult too.

What you are talking about, vanilla sex with a bit of spanking - that doesn't even make it into our category of BDSM. Not even Sugarkink most of the time.

What we tried to do on this one are all the ones who are "billed" or "Pushed" as BDSM, we use a sweeter term to categorize so those who like it light and romantic can go straight here to read those. It's one step more than erotica.

Although to be fair, the past few years, with the explosion of erotica and the FSOG band wagon, there has been an influx of all sorts of "BDSM"-eqsue books and the lines have blurred.

There have been a couple of books I've read which have indicated BDSM. The title looks like it. The cover looks like it. They even use BDSM terms like "Dominant" and "Slave". And... the most they do a OTK and a little handcuff. O_o

Ok, I guess I'm pretty confused about what "sugarkink" entails then, because the majority of these books seem far beyond the definition I read....

"Sugarkink - basically almost vanilla (reg. old sex) with some BDSM element. Like for instance your husband gets kinky one night and blindfolds you or ties you up, but that is basically as far as it goes."

Many of the books on this list are way, way beyond just vanilla sex with a bit of bondage. Maybe you might want to change the definition from "very little" SM or D/s to "moderate" or something similar because it seems like most of these books have moderate to heavy amounts of BDSM.

Rainbowheart wrote: "
Many of the books on this list are way, way beyond just vanilla sex with a bit of bondage. Maybe you might want to change the definition from "very little" SM or D/s to "moderate" or something similar because it seems like most of these books have moderate to heavy amounts of BDSM.
"

I guess for us we have a difference of opinion. Because I don't see any which is moderate or heavy. I think it's because I read a lot of BDSM and because I'm in the life style.

If you can list a few, I can change and remove them. Remember, I can't control what people randomly add. I depend on others to help indicate if something needs to be removed.

I don't check on these lists too often.

Rainbowheart wrote: "Ok, I guess I'm pretty confused about what "sugarkink" entails then, because the majority of these books seem far beyond the definition I read....

"Sugarkink - basically almost vanilla (reg. old sex) with some BDSM element. Like for instance your husband gets kinky one night and blindfolds you or ties you up, but that is basically as far as it goes." ..."

Huh. See, that's more 'vanilla w/ sprinkles' in my world. And 'sugarkink' goes a bit beyond that. Mainly b/c 'getting kinky' doesn't automatically/necessarily = BDSM (at least, to me). I mean, srsly, blindfold = BDSM???

So yeah... *nods*... As BA noted, I think that many will apply their own personal backgrounds, experiences, etc to the 'boundaries' for these terms.

That might be it. I would describe myself as vanilla, and I would categorize many of these books as regular BDSM, not light BDSM. I think people who are looking for very light kink would be overwhelmed by a lot of these books. I know I would be, lol.

Of course it's your list, so it's yours to do with what you like, but the way it looks right now it just doesn't seem like it would help mostly-vanilla readers who are looking to branch out into erotica where there's some slight BDSM kink.

♆ BookAddict wrote: "If you can list a few, I can change and remove them. Remember, I can't control what people randomly add. I depend on others to help indicate if something needs to be removed.

Oh, sorry, I just realized you edited your first post. Ok, I'll go through and take a closer look at some of them! :)

Rainbowheart wrote: "
Of course it's your list, so it's yours to do with what you like, but the way it looks right now it just doesn't seem like it would help mostly-vanilla readers who are looking to branch out into erotica where there's some slight BDSM kink. "

OH! I see what you are taking about. This is NOT the list for you. This is for BDSM readers who prefer the lighter ones. The one you are looking for is our Gateway to BDSM. These are for the most part the kind of BDSM which "entice" a reader into BDSM. Even if the BDSM is a bit more medium, it would still be a good introduction. Of course, the person who created the list is no longer part of the BDSM group or on GR. She's become inactive. :(

Karma♥Bites ^.~ wrote: "Huh. See, that's more 'vanilla w/ sprinkles' in my world. And 'sugarkink' goes a bit beyond that. Mainly b/c 'getting kinky' doesn't automatically/necessarily = BDSM (at least, to me). I mean, srsly, blindfold = BDSM???

So yeah... *nods*... As BA noted, I think that many will apply their own personal backgrounds, experiences, etc to the 'boundaries' for these terms."

Yeah, I guess people could use blindfolds in a non-BDSM way. I was assuming "sugarkink" was just a bit more than that. Maybe blindfolds, maybe a little spanking, maybe some light bondage. Where people get naughty in the bedroom once in a while, but it's not a total dom/sub vibe in their relationship all the time?

But I'm totally a BDSM virgin. I haven't even read 50 Shades, so most of the BDSM-flavored stuff I've come across was accidental, in books labeled vanilla romance. One of Erin McCarthy's for example, had the hero order the heroine around in their first sexual encounter and made her put her hands on the wall while he fucked her. Maybe something like that would be sugarkink?

Rainbowheart wrote: "...Maybe blindfolds, maybe a little spanking, maybe some light bondage. Where people get naughty in the bedroom once in a while, but it's not a total dom/sub vibe in their relationship all the time?..."

*nods in understanding* For me, that falls under 'vanilla w/ sprinkles'. 'Cause some may not want it all the time--just occasionally, KWIM? :)

As for your wall example? For me, that's just a sexual position, not a sexual style or kink.

ETA: Rainbowheart, if you haven't read it, I usually rec Beth Kery's Wicked Burn whenever someone is curious about BDSM but isn't quite ready (or doesn't want) to read actual BDSM books w/ flogging, caning, restraints, etc. The sex in Wicked Burn is rougher/kinkier and sex toys are involved but the scenes aren't blatantly written as BDSM (even if some, such as the restaurant scene, could be ID'd as such).

♆ BookAddict wrote: "OH! I see what you are taking about. This is NOT the list for you. This is for BDSM readers who prefer the lighter ones. The one you are looking for is our Gateway to BDSM. These are for the most part the kind of BDSM which "entice" a reader into BDSM. Even if the BDSM is a bit more medium, it would still be a good introduction. Of course, the person who created the list is no longer part of the BDSM group or on GR. She's become inactive. :("

Thanks! I will check that list out. I guess I kind of had the target audience wrong, if it's people who are already BDSM fans but prefer lighter material. Lighter in tone, if not in frequency or level of activity?

Karma♥Bites ^.~ wrote: "As for your wall example? For me, that's just a sexual position, not a sexual style or kink."

Oh, yeah, it wasn't the wall that made me think it was sugarkink. I've done that position and there was nothing kinky about it, lol. No, it was the hero's attitude, the way he was ordering her around during their sex scene. It didn't seem like the typical thing a man would do with a woman he'd never slept with before, unless there was some kind of dom/sub vibe going on. Caught me off guard, that's for sure. He had the same dominant demeanor in all their sex scenes, so I would not have called that a vanilla romance given some of the scenes in there. But maybe it wasn't enough to qualify for sugarkink either.

Rainbowheart wrote: "Karma♥Bites ^.~ wrote: " No, it was the hero's attitude, the way he was ordering her around during their sex scene. It didn't seem like the typical thing a man would do with a woman he'd never slept with before, unless there was some kind of dom/sub vibe going on."

I've had several lovers who order around in sex scenes are they are completely vanilla. Anything "kinkier" than that is beyond them. :/

Yeah, I don't know. I've never had a guy try to order me around in bed, but I don't think I give off the correct vibe for that, lol. I'm pretty sure I've never done anything that would qualify for sugarkink status, or even sprinkles.

LOL! Yeah, a guy ordering a female around (whether first time or not, during sex or otherwise) is just a personality thing to me. Granted, statistics will probably confirm common cluster of traits = Dom/Domme-like tendencies but... *grins*

Karma♥Bites ^.~ wrote: "ETA: Rainbowheart, if you haven't read it, I usually rec Beth Kery's Wicked Burn whenever someone is curious about BDSM but isn't quite ready (or doesn't want) to read actual BDSM books w/ flogging, caning, restraints, etc. The sex in Wicked Burn is rougher/kinkier and sex toys are involved but the scenes aren't blatantly written as BDSM (even if some, such as the restaurant scene, could be ID'd as such)."

Thanks! Although I think that might be a bit beyond me, with the rough sex aspect. I don't mind toys, but my tastes lie in the opposite direction. I don't like alpha males and don't get turned on by that particular dynamic. Actually I have been looking for books where the woman is more dominant in bed, but all I can find are femdom type books, and I'm really not into things like pain or bondage. Even sprinkles might be a bit too much, lol.

Rainbowheart wrote: " Actually I have been looking for books where the woman is more dominant in bed, but all I can find are femdom type books, and I'm really not into things like pain or bondage. Even sprinkles might be a bit too much, lol.
"

Harper Bliss does F/f which is nice. If you are looking for F/m where it isn't femdom with pretty hardcore domination, pain and bondage, it will be tough. It's not something that sells so well. I just read one which you might like.

Try - Bonds of Courage

Thanks Bookaddict! Yeah, I've asked around a lot, and it seems like the consensus is that there's not much middle ground. It's either alpha male dominant sex or else the heroine is a dominatrix. I don't read f/f, and the Bonds of Courage book sounds way too extreme for me, with a dominatrix, clubs, and spanking. I really don't want to read about spanking or bondage. Plus, it seems like a lot of these books have guys who are submissive in sexual situations, but typical alpha males outside of bed? That's just as unattractive to me as the other kind. I guess I'm out of luck when it comes to erotica, lol.