THE PLEASANT '17 VOW OF CHASTITY

1. Conflict is a vulgar engine. Minimize it!

2. Restraint is good. Vulgarity is not so good. Restraint is pleasant; vulgarity is not. Whoever uses proper diction is sweet. Everyone likes to walk around in an empty house.

3. The tale must emphasize the absolute certainty and security enjoyed by human beings in our well-lighted universe.

4. The tale must not contain explicit sexual or violent content that would render it unsuitable for juvenile and/or particularly sensitive readers. Gratuitous scenes of horses being disciplined with rods are particularly unwelcome, as are scenes involving the consumption of insects for dietary protein.

5. Just as the peach blossom sheds its flesh-colored petals, so should the author shed their desire to incite lust and other untoward feelings in the reader. The peach petal can never be put back on the blossom once it has fallen.

6. Beach parties and walks in the park are particularly pertinent themes for the Pleasant. A Hawaiian atmosphere is also welcome whenever possible.

7. Enlightened and wise individuals refrain from wearing sandals and socks. In the same manner, the writer of Pleasant tales never adds long-winded discourse to their lightness of touch.

8. People worry. It is the duty of the Pleasant to offer some respite from life’s rough handling. We blow the pipes and strike the bells, drowning out untoward ringtones and the offensive accents of aged Valley girls.

9. The characters must not be placed in threatening or unpleasant situations. The writer is not a sociopath out to recklessly endanger the characters for the puerile entertainment of "the Reader."

10. Unpleasant situations are okay! Let’s not fight about this. The important thing is RESOLUTION! We are all sentient beings who need to understand one another, even if it means raising our voices. IT IS OKAY TO ARGUE!