Paula Brown asked Ted A. Roberts:

I am a parent and recently lost my daughter to death-- she passed away at the tender age of 40 in front of her children..... I am angry with God, with life , and everything in general..Will Blaming God help me as I try to deal with this? Will it answer questions that I am quietly asking ? I am in pain -- will this help?

Ted A. Roberts First of all, let me say that I am very sorry for your loss! ... I cannot say if my book will help you understand why God allowed your daughter to die, nor if it will ease the burden that your heart is seized with at the moment. But, truly, the purpose of the book is to try and answer those kinds of questions. In fact, it was because of my own personal pains that I began to even write on that topic to begin with. I actually had in mind to write another, but I felt inspired and led to begin this project, instead of finishing the other that I was already half way through with. I only started this book mid last year, right after I lost my mother to cancer, but not before I witnessed her health decline very slowly years prior. In the last couple of years of her life, I saw how she had turned into a person that I did not know; but was, instead, a frail, sickly woman, who didn't know all of what was going on around her at all times. I cannot say that I watched my mother die in front of me, but even though it wasn't a shock that she did die, it certainly felt like a shock, and as if I did see her die in front of my eyes! Your comment concerning her kids reminded me of Jesus' mother Mary, who stood for hours, watching her son in tremendous agony on the cross, who had but recently been beaten and tortured at the hands of brute men! I cannot say that I can understand the pain that she had (based on my own experiences) as she watched her son slowly die a horrible death. Yes, He was the son of God, but, also, he was a son of Mary, and we can only imagine what she was feeling as she stood there witnessing something that she had no control over! Nor that she could put a stop to! ... Truly, the topic of death, and especially of 'dying,' is something that we, who can only think with the mind of man, cannot comprehend. We do have to know that God, who has a greater mind than we, would look upon that subject in another, totally different light. It would be easy for us to say that He cannot possibly understand what we go through, because He is a God, and is immune to human frailties and feelings, and yet He had to look upon His only begotten Son as evil men tortured, beat, and killed Him. We cannot imagine that He felt nothing as He most certainly watched the entire thing play out. In fact, we would all have to agree that after having such an experience, that we would not be justified in saying that God can't understand how we feel, or of the pain that we go through. But, again, and even though He has feelings that can be hurt just like us, we must realize that His understanding of dying and actual death is on a whole different and greater level than ours ... This is reminiscent to the death of Lazarus [St. John 11:1]. Jesus seemed to had taken his time to get there when Lazarus' sisters sent word to Him to come and heal the man before he died. When Jesus finally did arrive, he ended up crying - which is the only recorded instance of Him shedding tears. But, was He crying because he was sad that Lazarus had died? No, he was sad because of the sadness of the two sisters. Jesus certainly had a tender heart, but his 'concern' wasn't that somebody had died (because He understood death and dying), but his concern was instead placed upon the sadness that their misunderstanding of death had produced ... Let's see how Jesus handled the man's death:
John 11:5 "Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus."
John 11:11-14 "These things said he: and after that he saith unto them [i.e. His diciples], 'Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep.' Then said his disciples, 'Lord, if he sleep, he shall do well.' Howbeit Jesus spake of his death: but they thought that he had spoken of taking of rest in sleep. Then said Jesus unto them plainly, 'Lazarus is dead.'"
And, when Jesus finally arrived at the sight:
John 11:21 "Then said Martha unto Jesus, 'Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.'"
John 11:25-26 "Jesus said unto her, 'I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?'" .........
We cannot imagine that God looks upon dying and death in the same manner as we. It may seem odd, horrible, strange, and terrible to us, but God not only understands it, but he created it, and he knows exactly how to handle it. Our duty is to trust Him and to believe on Him and to do His commandments. And if we can but find the strength to do that, he will reward us with what the Bible refers to as a 'peace that passes all understanding!'
Philippians 4:6b-8 "...in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
Philippians 4:11b-13 "...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
....Thank you for writing me this question....

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