Kayla
asked
Randy Susan Meyers:
Where did your inspiration for Accidents of Marriage come from? Up until the accident I felt like I was reading about my life and it was scary to think that that could one day be me laying in the hospital bed because my husband is just like Ben in all aspects.
Randy Susan Meyers
Again, please accept my apologies for not seeing your question before. I wrote this book for many reasons: the biggest was that I worked with men who were violent, physically, verbally and emotionally--and rarely did they see the dangers ahead of them. Also, I grew up in a home with domestic violence and it's a topic I often explore.
Before I expound on that, here's a link to a truly helpful book:
https://www.amazon.com/Verbally-Abusi...
Sometimes writers don’t recognize themes they’ve embedded in their work until after writing “the end.” Only by looking back do we recognize our sore spots and consistent curiosity.
By my third book, I can’t deny that exploring unintended consequences of actions fascinates me.
“But I never meant for that to happen . . .”
The ‘but’ can be anything from a child’s bruise which resulted from that basket of laundry you left by the stairs, to a house stripped of all valuables, because you didn’t lock the door . . .
. . . Or it can be your spouse lying in the ICU, fighting for their life, because road rage overcame good judgment.
Every move we make creates ripples within our circle of friends and family:
Tenderness and kindness engender waves of confidence and love.
Rage evokes fear and damage—sometimes as small as hurt feelings, sometimes avoidance, sometimes tiptoeing, and sometimes love is ripped apart.
In the worst of times, lives are destroyed. In Accidents of Marriage, for the damage he caused, Ben might as well have used a fist instead of his cutting words.
Another idea I find myself repeatedly visiting is the loneliness we can face, even in the midst of a seemingly intact group of family and friends. As a child, the problems my parents faced kept me from being embraced by a larger community or neighborhood, whether cultural, religious or social. Thus, I find myself looking at families where affiliations and beliefs may provide comfort, or may create isolation.
And then there is guilt. How far will we go to avoid admitting culpability?
Will we lie?
Will we pile hurt onto already broken people?
How brave can we be?
I write to find the answers to these questions.
Before I expound on that, here's a link to a truly helpful book:
https://www.amazon.com/Verbally-Abusi...
Sometimes writers don’t recognize themes they’ve embedded in their work until after writing “the end.” Only by looking back do we recognize our sore spots and consistent curiosity.
By my third book, I can’t deny that exploring unintended consequences of actions fascinates me.
“But I never meant for that to happen . . .”
The ‘but’ can be anything from a child’s bruise which resulted from that basket of laundry you left by the stairs, to a house stripped of all valuables, because you didn’t lock the door . . .
. . . Or it can be your spouse lying in the ICU, fighting for their life, because road rage overcame good judgment.
Every move we make creates ripples within our circle of friends and family:
Tenderness and kindness engender waves of confidence and love.
Rage evokes fear and damage—sometimes as small as hurt feelings, sometimes avoidance, sometimes tiptoeing, and sometimes love is ripped apart.
In the worst of times, lives are destroyed. In Accidents of Marriage, for the damage he caused, Ben might as well have used a fist instead of his cutting words.
Another idea I find myself repeatedly visiting is the loneliness we can face, even in the midst of a seemingly intact group of family and friends. As a child, the problems my parents faced kept me from being embraced by a larger community or neighborhood, whether cultural, religious or social. Thus, I find myself looking at families where affiliations and beliefs may provide comfort, or may create isolation.
And then there is guilt. How far will we go to avoid admitting culpability?
Will we lie?
Will we pile hurt onto already broken people?
How brave can we be?
I write to find the answers to these questions.
More Answered Questions
Peter
asked
Randy Susan Meyers:
I am intrigued by the very last part of your comment that as a young woman you went on to read "Anne Frank's Diary." Did you go on to read other books about the Holocaust? As a Holocaust survivor, and author of a memoir entitled "Memories of Evil -- Recalling a World War II Childhood," this is obviously of great interest to me.
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