Jessica Wilkins asked Scarlet Hiltibidal:

How do you decide whether or not something is "too vulnerable" to write about? I know we need to be honest and authentic but I find it hard to know what to keep personal and what to share.

Scarlet Hiltibidal This is such a great question. I didn't feel weird about writing Afraid of All the Things because I was basically sharing the stuff that goes on in my own head. What I'm sensitive to is sharing other peoples' stuff. I don't mind being vulnerable, but I never want anything I write to hurt or embarrass someone I love. I always ask my kids if I can share a story about them. (My daughter approved the last chapter of Afraid of All the Things -- "Grandpa Died: "The Funnest Day Ever!" while it was still a draft on my computer. But anyway, your question is a question I ask myself all the time. Sometimes, I won't write about something personal because it's too fresh or I'm not sure what to say about it yet. But, often I write about vulnerable things while I'm working through them and it helps me figure the thing out. Sometimes I share those things, other times, I scrap it. Or just save it for later. I waited ten years to write about my eating disorders, because I wanted to have some distance from it. So, short answer is...I write about everything, but I am very careful about how much of it I share :) Another little safety net I have is my husband. I send him everything I write before I publish or post it, and he's fantastic. Sometimes, he'll be like, "You're a little dark right now. Maybe don't post that." :) I think it's wise to have another set of eyes on your work before you share it with the world.

flag