Dasia asked Jeff Hobbs:

Hello Jeff my name is D and I have a couple of things to say to you. Let's start with I mean this in a very respectful way possible, but why did you make this book? What did you want to gain from making this book? (respectfully). Because I feel and this is an opinion but I feel like a black person should be telling this story of Robert. like you gave us insight but you didn't inform us on who Robert really is.

Jeff Hobbs Hi D. I'm sorry that it has been some months since you wrote this. I'm not very often on social media. But thank you very much for your question, which is one I struggled with throughout writing the book, and continue to struggle with in a different way even now, years later. The context maybe matters a bit here. When I first reached out to Jackie Peace, my intention was only to write something like 1,000 words, maybe for his high school newsletter or some other format that few would ever read. I thought I would spend some time with a few family members (6-8 people, I thought) and friends and write a handful of memories that spoke to his life, not just his death. Since you've read the book, you know that Rob had a LOT of friends, and so 6-8 people turned into 60 and then 80 and then more, all of whom lived in different parts of his life but were connected by the commonality of caring. It's a long story, but I call this a eulogy that got out of hand. But that was why I wrote the book -- because I was part of a large community of people who did not want to let Rob go. The second part of your question--what I hoped to gain--is a little harder to answer in retrospect. Rob was not famous, and his story is very sad, so I did not ever believe many people would read it. But I guess, on a selfish level, it was nice to feel like I was doing something positive in his memory, if only as a conduit through which all the people who loved him, and who couldn't help him while he was still here, could share their grief, regrets, and complicated feelings. On a broader level, it felt important to communicate that a life shouldn't be defined by its worst decisions. I think Rob believed that.

And as to your final, really important reflection--I've had this dialogue with many people in the time since, particularly in schools with students who have experiences in common with Rob, many of whom also feel as you do. There is the added, difficult layer of telling the story of someone who couldn't tell or inform on it himself. You're right: while I strived to tell his story through the time spent with all these people who cared about him, a black person could have told his story on a deeper, truer level. I acknowledged this in the pages themselves. Yet, factually, no other person was going to spend the years to learn his unique story, so I take responsibility for having done this and do feel that his story is dignified and worthy--also, ultimately, positive. As his mother said, she's glad that her son can continue to influence people for the better. So in the end, I thank you for bringing this up and respectfully holding me to account. I hope this response is meaningful, and I wish you the best. Sincerely, Jeff

flag