Karen C.L. Anderson
I wrote The Peaceful Daughter's Guide To Separating From A Difficult Mother because I wanted to share my experience and the tools I used to create peace in what used to be a conflict-filled relationship with my mother.
I had read plenty of other books about narcissistic mothers and mothers who can't love, and while they were helpful, they were also rather clinical and dry. As I say in my book:
"Very often therapy and 'self help' provides an excuse to stay a lesser version of your possible self. They provide context for pathology, but don’t always give us a path toward healing and being able to feel whole. In some ways, they promote an 'acceptance' that limits our growth and potential. Until we learn it doesn’t have to be that way.
That’s not to say that therapy and books weren’t helpful or didn’t play an important role, because they most certainly were and did for me. In fact, I’d say they were key parts of the process.
It was a relief to have an explanation, but at first I found myself even more validated in feeling angry, sad, bitter, disappointed, and reactive. For a while, it was rather exhilarating. What I didn’t realize is that I went deeper into an unhealthy 'blame' mode than I ever had before, because I had adopted a deep-seated unconscious belief: It shouldn’t have been that way."
The Peaceful Daughter's Guide is not another "here's what's wrong with your mother" book. It provides a framework, using my own story, for adult daughters to create resilience, empowerment, and autonomy in their lives.
I wrote this book because I believe it fills a previously unfilled hole: books that make a real difference for daughters who struggle with, or are estranged from, their mothers.
I had read plenty of other books about narcissistic mothers and mothers who can't love, and while they were helpful, they were also rather clinical and dry. As I say in my book:
"Very often therapy and 'self help' provides an excuse to stay a lesser version of your possible self. They provide context for pathology, but don’t always give us a path toward healing and being able to feel whole. In some ways, they promote an 'acceptance' that limits our growth and potential. Until we learn it doesn’t have to be that way.
That’s not to say that therapy and books weren’t helpful or didn’t play an important role, because they most certainly were and did for me. In fact, I’d say they were key parts of the process.
It was a relief to have an explanation, but at first I found myself even more validated in feeling angry, sad, bitter, disappointed, and reactive. For a while, it was rather exhilarating. What I didn’t realize is that I went deeper into an unhealthy 'blame' mode than I ever had before, because I had adopted a deep-seated unconscious belief: It shouldn’t have been that way."
The Peaceful Daughter's Guide is not another "here's what's wrong with your mother" book. It provides a framework, using my own story, for adult daughters to create resilience, empowerment, and autonomy in their lives.
I wrote this book because I believe it fills a previously unfilled hole: books that make a real difference for daughters who struggle with, or are estranged from, their mothers.
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