Elle asked Maggie Stiefvater:

How do you juggle writing and your art (and music) with being a mother and a wife?

Maggie Stiefvater When I was a kid, I was a very close to my father. He was in the Navy, and I remember years when he would be gone for months at a time. Now, as an adult, I am still very close to my father. The days away weren't the part that influenced our relationship: the days together were.

I've never forgotten that lesson: that I respected that my father liked his work and was good at it, and that I always felt loved and respected myself. I think it's an especially good lesson to learn because American culture shouts at women all the time — be guilty, it howls, for every moment spent away from home; don't you remember your place; do you want your children to be fed jello for dinner by an inept and unequal spouse?

The Stiefvater household is a finely tuned machine made of people who love each other and respect what each member loves. My kids don't need to be told to be quiet when I'm writing music — they know why I do it, and they'll sit quietly under the piano and watch. They don't have to beg me to read a story to them in the evening — I can tell when that's what they'd like, and I'll put aside my writing for a half hour to do it. I don't have to tell Lover I need him to make dinner while I work late; he knows, because he's watching. Likewise, if he's outside chasing down a loose cow, I don't have to guess that it falls to me to make dinner.

I mean, it's not perfect. Timing can be dreadful. But we like each other. That's really all there is to it.

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