“Most people, who choose or are coerced into only identifying with “positive” feelings, usually wind up in an emotionally lifeless middle ground – bland, deadened, and dissociated in
an unemotional “no-man’s-land.”
Moreover, when a person tries to hold onto a preferred feeling for longer than its actual
tenure, she often appears as unnatural and phony as ersatz grass or plastic flowers. If instead, she learns to surrender willingly to the normal human experience that good feelings always ebb and flow, she will eventually be graced with a growing ability to renew herself in the vital waters of emotional flexibility.
The repression of the so-called negative polarities of emotion causes much unnecessary
pain, as well as the loss of many essential aspects of the feeling nature. In fact, much of the plethora of loneliness, alienation, and addictive distraction that plagues modern industrial societies is a result of people being taught and forced to reject, pathologize or punish so many of their own and others’ normal feeling states.
Nowhere, not in the deepest recesses of the self, or in the presence of his closest friends, is
the average person allowed to have and explore any number of normal emotional states. Anger,
depression, envy, sadness, fear, distrust, etc., are all as normal a part of life as bread and flowers and streets. Yet, they have become ubiquitously avoided and shameful human experiences.
How tragic this is, for all of these emotions have enormously important and healthy
functions in a wholly integrated psyche. One dimension where this is most true is in the arena of healthy self-protection. For without access to our uncomfortable or painful feelings, we are deprived of the most fundamental part of our ability to notice when something is unfair, abusive, or neglectful in our environments.
Those who cannot feel their sadness often do not know when they are being unfairly excluded, and those who cannot feel their normal angry or fearful responses to abuse, are often in danger of putting up with it without protest.
Perhaps never before has humankind been so alienated from so many of its normal feeling
states, as it is in the twenty-first century. Never before have so many human beings been so
emotionally deadened and impoverished.
The disease of emotional emaciation is epidemic. Its effects on health are often
euphemistically labeled as stress, and like the emotions, stress is often treated like some
unwanted waste that must be removed.”