“Allow all feelings, but not all behavior We might think, If I accept them for who they are, see things from their perspective, and allow all their feelings, do I have to accept all their behavior? This is absolutely not the case. We step in if necessary to stop any inappropriate behavior. As the adult, we often need to act as our toddler’s prefrontal cortex (the rational part of their brain), which is still developing. We can step in to keep them safe. To keep others safe. To keep ourselves safe. To show them they can disagree with others in a respectful way. To show them how to show up and be responsible human beings. Examples: “It’s okay to disagree, but I can’t let you hurt your brother/sister. You sit on this side of me, and you sit on the other.” “I can’t let you hurt me/I can’t let you speak to me that way/I cannot let you hurt yourself. But I see something important is going on, and I am trying to understand.”