Simone Davies > Quotes

“Rather than issuing commands—“Put the orange peel in the bin, please”—we can give information instead: “The orange peel goes in the bin.” Then they can figure out for themselves that they need to take it to the bin. It becomes something they choose to do rather than another order from the adult.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Let the children be free; encourage them; let them run outside when it is raining; let them remove their shoes when they find a puddle of water; and, when the grass of the meadows is damp with dew, let them run on it and trample it with their bare feet; let them rest peacefully when a tree invites them to sleep beneath its shade; let them shout and laugh when the sun wakes them in the morning as it wakes every living creature that divides its day between waking and sleeping.” —Dr. Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“What seems to be a lack of flexibility (“I can’t eat breakfast without my favorite spoon!”) is actually an expression of their strong sense of order. What looks like a battle of wills is actually your toddler learning that things don’t always go their way. What looks like repeating the same annoying game over and over is actually the child trying to gain mastery. What appears to be an explosive tantrum is actually the toddler saying, “I love you so much, I feel safe to release everything that I’ve been holding on to all day.” What seems to be intentionally going slowly to wind us up is actually them exploring everything in their path.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“If you’ve told a child a thousand times, and the child still has not learned, then it is not the child who is the slow learner.” —Walter B. Barbe”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“A child will pick up negative experiences as easily as positive experiences. They can even pick up our feelings and attitudes, for example, when we drop something and get frustrated with ourselves (as opposed to forgiving ourselves) or if we have a fixed mind-set that we are bad at drawing (as opposed to a growth mind-set where we might show that we can always keep improving our skills).”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Who knew that parenting would become an almost spiritual journey? And what a journey it is. Sometimes I wish I had known all of this before I became a parent. Yet, we only know what we know. So I think of how I've grown up alongside my children - that they see me trying and geting it wrong and trying again ad getting a bit better, constantly learning and growing.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Responsibilities because, as Dr. Montessori points out, a sponge can absorb dirty water as easily as it can clean water. A child will pick up negative experiences as easily as positive experiences.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“When a child shows a particular interest in one area—for example, movement, language, math, reading—it is known as a sensitive period. This describes a moment when the child is particularly attuned to learning a certain skill or concept and it happens with ease and without effort.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“In Montessori we have a phrase for this: “Teach by teaching, not by correcting.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“With a foundation of the five basic ingredients, we can apply seven principles to help them become curious human beings. 1. Follow the child—let them lead. 2. Encourage hands-on learning—let them explore. 3. Include the child in daily life—let them be included. 4. Go slow—let them set their own pace. 5. Help me to help myself—let them be independent and responsible. 6. Encourage creativity—let them wonder. 7. Observe—let them show us.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“We can acknowledge the guilt we may feel about putting ourselves first. And let it go. Reframe it instead as being a great example for our children to look after themselves.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“When limits are not consistent, toddlers will keep testing them to see what we decide today. If they find it works to nag or melt down, they will try again. This is called intermittent reinforcement.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“We are kind to each other. This means that even if we disagree, we will not hurt each other physically or tease each other; it teaches children to respect themselves and each other.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“If our child is interested in opening and closing, collect old jars and rinse them out so our child can practice taking the lids on and off. Use old wallets or purses with different clasps. Hide some fun things inside for them to discover.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“There is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing,” as the Scandinavians like to say.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“We were training ourselves to unlearn the desire to analyze, jump to conclusions, have biases, and form preconceptions about a child or a situation.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“ALTERNATIVES TO PRAISE Praising our babies can be a hard habit to break or avoid. Often when our children do something, we feel the need to acknowledge it in some way. Many times our instinct is to acknowledge by praising, but when we do this, we teach the baby to look to us for how to feel about their efforts. In Montessori we are wanting to build a child’s intrinsic sense of self rather than having them look for or get used to external praise and validation. Instead of praise, saying “Good job,” or clapping, we could try the following alternatives with our babies: 1. Don’t do anything. This allows the baby to enjoy the moment in their own way. 2. Sportscast—say what we saw the baby doing: “You put the ball in the hole.” 3. Describe what you observe about the baby’s feelings: “You look content/excited!” 4. Acknowledge our baby’s effort: ”You worked on that for a long time” or “You did it.” 5. Give a gentle smile. 6. Offer encouragement: “I knew you could do it.” 7. You could talk about what comes next: “I see you are done. Shall we go get ready to nap?” 8. Or talk about how it feels: “I’m so excited for you. You did it.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“Avoid interrupting Once we have recognized concentration, we do not interrupt. Not to help, not to congratulate, not to correct. We can simply smile to ourselves, enjoy their achievements and process, and watch from a distance. During their development, concentration is fragile. It is easily broken, and when the baby experiences this a few times, they can stop trying to concentrate. It is so beautiful to watch a baby completely absorbed and engaged in something.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“I’ve noticed that once toddlers have processed their feelings and are calm, they often take a deep breath or release a big sigh. We can look for this kind of physical sign to show they are completely calm again.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Teach them what to do, rather than tell them what we don’t want them to do:”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“Instead of always leaving the eldest in charge, for example, while we are in the bathroom, we can get children to look after each other, regardless of their age. We can make sure that younger children also take on age-appropriate responsibilities rather than leaving everything to the eldest.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Modify the environment or a process: If our baby often pours the water out of their cup while they’re not drinking, we can modify our process by keeping the cup by our side until it is time for the baby to drink, or pouring just enough for one drink and taking the cup back once the baby is done. If our baby keeps going back to an electrical outlet, we can make sure it is protected or maybe move a piece of furniture in front of it. In this way, we set limits using the environment.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“Limit passive entertainment We don’t need to constantly entertain the baby. It becomes exhausting for the adult and can be detrimental for the baby. Babies learn through active experience and by doing instead of being entertained. So we provide an environment that encourages our baby to engage themselves. This can start at birth. Toys that entertain also affect concentration. These are the toys that sing, flash, beep, talk, and do all sorts of things at the press of a button. This kind of entertainment leads to passivity and takes away that sense of wonder and accomplishment that comes from direct discovery. Magda Gerber, founder of the RIE approach, described it well when she said that we want passive toys and active children, not active toys, which lead to passive children.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“water.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Yes, you can have another cracker . . . when you have finished this one.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“One important thing to note is that it takes an enormous amount of neurological effort to walk or to talk. So what we often see is that one of these—either the movement or language acquisition—plateaus as the other takes off.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“Allow all feelings, but not all behavior We might think, If I accept them for who they are, see things from their perspective, and allow all their feelings, do I have to accept all their behavior? This is absolutely not the case. We step in if necessary to stop any inappropriate behavior. As the adult, we often need to act as our toddler’s prefrontal cortex (the rational part of their brain), which is still developing. We can step in to keep them safe. To keep others safe. To keep ourselves safe. To show them they can disagree with others in a respectful way. To show them how to show up and be responsible human beings. Examples: “It’s okay to disagree, but I can’t let you hurt your brother/sister. You sit on this side of me, and you sit on the other.” “I can’t let you hurt me/I can’t let you speak to me that way/I cannot let you hurt yourself. But I see something important is going on, and I am trying to understand.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Respond to the need or message being communicated: The baby’s behavior is usually their way of communicating something. It might be a need or a message. A baby who is throwing objects might be communicating a need for more gross-motor movement, and a baby who is throwing food might simply be communicating that they are full or not interested in the meal. Our response would be based on our observation and interpretation.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“One of the secrets to the success of our intentionally created spaces is to limit the number of activities available for our baby to the ones they are working to master. We can display a limited number—about six of their favorites—on a low shelf in their movement area. It’s easier for our baby to choose from a smaller selection, the activities will be just the right challenge for them, and there will be less for us to tidy up. Then we observe. When we”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding