Simone Davies > Quotes

“Rather than issuing commands—“Put the orange peel in the bin, please”—we can give information instead: “The orange peel goes in the bin.” Then they can figure out for themselves that they need to take it to the bin. It becomes something they choose to do rather than another order from the adult.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Let the children be free; encourage them; let them run outside when it is raining; let them remove their shoes when they find a puddle of water; and, when the grass of the meadows is damp with dew, let them run on it and trample it with their bare feet; let them rest peacefully when a tree invites them to sleep beneath its shade; let them shout and laugh when the sun wakes them in the morning as it wakes every living creature that divides its day between waking and sleeping.” —Dr. Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“What seems to be a lack of flexibility (“I can’t eat breakfast without my favorite spoon!”) is actually an expression of their strong sense of order. What looks like a battle of wills is actually your toddler learning that things don’t always go their way. What looks like repeating the same annoying game over and over is actually the child trying to gain mastery. What appears to be an explosive tantrum is actually the toddler saying, “I love you so much, I feel safe to release everything that I’ve been holding on to all day.” What seems to be intentionally going slowly to wind us up is actually them exploring everything in their path.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Who knew that parenting would become an almost spiritual journey? And what a journey it is. Sometimes I wish I had known all of this before I became a parent. Yet, we only know what we know. So I think of how I've grown up alongside my children - that they see me trying and geting it wrong and trying again ad getting a bit better, constantly learning and growing.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Responsibilities because, as Dr. Montessori points out, a sponge can absorb dirty water as easily as it can clean water. A child will pick up negative experiences as easily as positive experiences.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“If you’ve told a child a thousand times, and the child still has not learned, then it is not the child who is the slow learner.” —Walter B. Barbe”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“A child will pick up negative experiences as easily as positive experiences. They can even pick up our feelings and attitudes, for example, when we drop something and get frustrated with ourselves (as opposed to forgiving ourselves) or if we have a fixed mind-set that we are bad at drawing (as opposed to a growth mind-set where we might show that we can always keep improving our skills).”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“When a child shows a particular interest in one area—for example, movement, language, math, reading—it is known as a sensitive period. This describes a moment when the child is particularly attuned to learning a certain skill or concept and it happens with ease and without effort.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“In Montessori we have a phrase for this: “Teach by teaching, not by correcting.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“There is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing,” as the Scandinavians like to say.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“We were training ourselves to unlearn the desire to analyze, jump to conclusions, have biases, and form preconceptions about a child or a situation.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“If our child is interested in opening and closing, collect old jars and rinse them out so our child can practice taking the lids on and off. Use old wallets or purses with different clasps. Hide some fun things inside for them to discover.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“We are kind to each other. This means that even if we disagree, we will not hurt each other physically or tease each other; it teaches children to respect themselves and each other.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“When limits are not consistent, toddlers will keep testing them to see what we decide today. If they find it works to nag or melt down, they will try again. This is called intermittent reinforcement.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“We can acknowledge the guilt we may feel about putting ourselves first. And let it go. Reframe it instead as being a great example for our children to look after themselves.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“With a foundation of the five basic ingredients, we can apply seven principles to help them become curious human beings. 1. Follow the child—let them lead. 2. Encourage hands-on learning—let them explore. 3. Include the child in daily life—let them be included. 4. Go slow—let them set their own pace. 5. Help me to help myself—let them be independent and responsible. 6. Encourage creativity—let them wonder. 7. Observe—let them show us.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“So even though we don’t have to teach our babies everything, everything we do teaches them something, and this can feel like a huge responsibility. It is big work. The kind that we can be intentional about.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“always”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“With young toddlers, we can first model where things belong and introduce putting things back as”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“water.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Instead of always leaving the eldest in charge, for example, while we are in the bathroom, we can get children to look after each other, regardless of their age. We can make sure that younger children also take on age-appropriate responsibilities rather than leaving everything to the eldest.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“Teach them what to do, rather than tell them what we don’t want them to do:”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“One of the secrets to the success of our intentionally created spaces is to limit the number of activities available for our baby to the ones they are working to master. We can display a limited number—about six of their favorites—on a low shelf in their movement area. It’s easier for our baby to choose from a smaller selection, the activities will be just the right challenge for them, and there will be less for us to tidy up. Then we observe. When we”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“When we have a strong reaction, whether positive or negative, we inadvertently teach them to look to us instead of themselves for how they feel.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“I love the analogy used in the book The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson—when a child is upset, he “flips his lid.” This means that the upstairs part of the brain—the cerebral cortex, the part of the brain that makes rational decisions and allows for self-control—is not available to the child. Therefore, all the reasoning in the world or explanations will fall on deaf ears. We need to first help them close the lid by giving them support to calm down. We can offer them a cuddle; we don’t assume that they want one. Some children like to be cuddled to help them calm down. Some children will push us away. If they push us away, we make sure they are safe and we can offer them a cuddle when they are calm. We are saying it’s okay for them to melt down. Rather than trying to get the tantrum to stop as soon as possible, allow them to express all their feelings safely until they are calm, and show that we are there to help if they need us. And, once they are calm, we can help them make amends if needed.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“ALTERNATIVES TO PRAISE Praising our babies can be a hard habit to break or avoid. Often when our children do something, we feel the need to acknowledge it in some way. Many times our instinct is to acknowledge by praising, but when we do this, we teach the baby to look to us for how to feel about their efforts. In Montessori we are wanting to build a child’s intrinsic sense of self rather than having them look for or get used to external praise and validation. Instead of praise, saying “Good job,” or clapping, we could try the following alternatives with our babies: 1. Don’t do anything. This allows the baby to enjoy the moment in their own way. 2. Sportscast—say what we saw the baby doing: “You put the ball in the hole.” 3. Describe what you observe about the baby’s feelings: “You look content/excited!” 4. Acknowledge our baby’s effort: ”You worked on that for a long time” or “You did it.” 5. Give a gentle smile. 6. Offer encouragement: “I knew you could do it.” 7. You could talk about what comes next: “I see you are done. Shall we go get ready to nap?” 8. Or talk about how it feels: “I’m so excited for you. You did it.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“Children tune out when they constantly hear “don’t” and “no” all the time. So we tell them what we want them to do: “Let’s keep your feet on the ground” rather than “Don’t climb on the table.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding

“Allow all feelings, but not all behavior We might think, If I accept them for who they are, see things from their perspective, and allow all their feelings, do I have to accept all their behavior? This is absolutely not the case. We step in if necessary to stop any inappropriate behavior. As the adult, we often need to act as our toddler’s prefrontal cortex (the rational part of their brain), which is still developing. We can step in to keep them safe. To keep others safe. To keep ourselves safe. To show them they can disagree with others in a respectful way. To show them how to show up and be responsible human beings. Examples: “It’s okay to disagree, but I can’t let you hurt your brother/sister. You sit on this side of me, and you sit on the other.” “I can’t let you hurt me/I can’t let you speak to me that way/I cannot let you hurt yourself. But I see something important is going on, and I am trying to understand.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

“We want to allow the baby (from birth) free movement and unobstructed vision. So we prefer not to use baby boxes, playpens, or cribs in our homes—these contain the baby’s movement, and the bars do not give a clear view of the whole space from the baby’s perspective. We even prefer not to use a high chair. Controversial, we know. These containers have been developed for our convenience, not the child’s.”
― Simone Davies, The Montessori Baby: A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding