“...human beings need someone friendly to listen to them when they’re grieving. So feel free to talk to me. I will be friendly. You have nice shoes.”
“Is that the only thing you notice about people?”
“I’ve always wanted shoes. They’re the sole piece of clothing that makes any sense, assuming ideal environmental conditions. They don’t play into your strange and nonsensical taboos about not letting anyone see your—”
“Is this really the only thing you can think of to comfort someone who is grieving?”
“It was number one on my list.” Great.
“The list has seven million entries. Do you want to hear number two?”
“Is it silence?”
“That didn’t even make the list.”
“Move it to number two.”
“All right, I . . . Oh.”