D C > D's Quotes

“Ghastly and Anton have been murdered. Ravel's betrayed us. Valkyrie is... gone. The Dead Men have had their last stand and we've fallen, Saracen. The three of us are all that remain. - Skulduggery”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, or There and Back Again

“No one could tell me not to eat an entire cake—not my mom, not Santa, not God—no one. It was my cake and everyone else could go fuck themselves.”
― Allie Brosh, Hyperbole and a Half

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was...Dumbledore!”
― Tara Gilesbie, My Immortal

“Gordon Edgley's sudden death came as a shock to everyone - not least himself. One moment he was in his study, seven words into the twenty-fifth sentence of the final chapter of his new book, And the Darkness Rained upon Them, and the next he was dead. A tragic loss, his mind echoed numbly as he slipped away.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Suddenly Saracen Rue looked old and tired, and Skulduggery Pleasant came into focus as what he really was – a genius, a killer, a tortured soul, and the only true dead man among them.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“I don't know. I don't actually remember anything from before the surgery."

His eyebrows rose, his blue eyes sucking in all the light of the room. "The cybernetic opetation?"

"No, the sex change."

The doctor's smile faltered.

"I'm joking.”
― Marissa Meyer, Cinder

“So Lyra and her daemon turned away from the world they were born in, and looked toward the sun, and walked into the sky.”
― Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“He’s stuck out there. He thinks he’s totally alone and that we all gave up on him. What kind of effect does that have on a man’s psychology?” He turned back to Venkat. “I wonder what he’s thinking right now.”

LOG ENTRY: SOL 61 How come Aquaman can control whales? They’re mammals! Makes no sense.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (after five hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“There was an unconnected fax machine with the intelligence of a computer and a computer with the intelligence of a retarded ant.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“The ship groaned and growled beneath him like a constipated fat man straining to shit.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire, 5-Book Boxed Set: A Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords, A Feast for Crows, A Dance with Dragons

“Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“There was no light at the end of the tunnel--or if there was, it was an oncoming train.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“The terror, which would not end for another 28 years-if it ever did end-began, so far as I know or can tell, with a boat made from a sheet of newspaper floating down a gutter swollen with rain.”
― Stephen King, It

“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit: or There and Back Again

“So now you're on the run,' Warrick said wistfully. 'Travelling the Dark Highway, a lone wolf. With your friend, who is another wolf. Two lone wolves. Two wolves, really. Not really alone. Two wolves in a car. Travelling. One of them naked and bloody. The other with her ass hanging out.”
― Derek Landy

“Your fate will be whispered by mothers in dark places to frighten their young,’ said Hastur, and then felt that the language of Hell wasn’t up to the job. ‘You’re going to get taken to the bloody cleaners, pal,’ he added.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“If you are ever forced to take a chemistry class, you will probably see, at the front of the classroom, a large chart divided into squares, with different numbers and letters in each of them. This chart is called the table of the elements, and scientists like to say that it contains all the substances that make up our world. Like everyone else, scientists are wrong from time to time, and it is easy to see that they are wrong about the table of the elements. Because although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table of the elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise”
― Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

“We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“In the beginning we were a group of nine.

Three are gone, dead.
There are six of us left.
They are hunting us, and they won't stop until they've killed us all.

I am Number Four.

I know that I am next.”
― Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four

“The sparrow flies south for the winter.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“I know you've got your guns and you're really good at being horrible to people, but do you seriously think you can threaten him?"
Milo frowned. "I'm not horrible to people."
"Really? You really don't think you're horrible to people?"
"No," he said, a little defensively. "I'm nice. Everyone says it."
"Oh man," said Amber. "People have lied to you. Like, a lot.”
― Derek Landy, Demon Road

“A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest.”
― C.S. Lewis

“Plan A had worked. Plan B had failed. Everything depended on Plan C, and there was one drawback to this: he had only ever planned as far as B.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Tell your friends I am the last of a dying race,' it said, grinning its sunken grin as it staggered and lurched down the proch steps after her. 'The only survivor of a dying planet. I have come to rob all the women...rape all the men...and learn to do the Peppermint Twist!”
― Stephen King

“Can I ask you a question? You know with vampires and werewolves and goblins and things, is there any mythological creature that doesn't actually exist?"
"Of course," he replied. "The unicorn and the leprechaun would be would be the two main ones. The Loch Ness Monster isn't real, either, that's just someone called Bert.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant