D C

“Plan A had worked. Plan B had failed. Everything depended on Plan C, and there was one drawback to this: he had only ever planned as far as B.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“I know you've got your guns and you're really good at being horrible to people, but do you seriously think you can threaten him?"
Milo frowned. "I'm not horrible to people."
"Really? You really don't think you're horrible to people?"
"No," he said, a little defensively. "I'm nice. Everyone says it."
"Oh man," said Amber. "People have lied to you. Like, a lot.”
― Derek Landy, Demon Road

“Your fate will be whispered by mothers in dark places to frighten their young,’ said Hastur, and then felt that the language of Hell wasn’t up to the job. ‘You’re going to get taken to the bloody cleaners, pal,’ he added.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“There was an unconnected fax machine with the intelligence of a computer and a computer with the intelligence of a retarded ant.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch