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#1

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

tags: dance, heaven, hurt, inspirational, life, love, sing

128636 likes

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#2

“Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me."
"Say 'please.'"
"Don't mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?"
"Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice.
"All right- PLEASE."
"NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

452 likes

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#3

“And I must draft an advertisement for the Daily Prophet, too,' he added thoughtfully. 'We'll be needing a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.... Dear me, we do seem to run through them, don't we?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

tags: chamber, comedy, dumbledore, harry-potter, secrets

207 likes

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#4

“Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

tags: boggs, finnick, funny, humour, hunger-games, katniss, mockingjay, odair, suzanne-collins, witty

9261 likes

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#5

“Unbeing dead isn't being alive.”
― E. E. Cummings

tags: death, life, poetry

5651 likes

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#6

“You only live twice:
Once when you are born
And once when you look death in the face”
― Ian Fleming, You Only Live Twice

tags: death, haiku, james-bond, philosophy, poetry

2810 likes

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#7

“Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.”
― Benjamin Franklin

tags: death, life, wordplay

1660 likes

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#8

“No one here gets out alive.”
― Jim Morrison

tags: death, life, verse

797 likes

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#9

“Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love. He didn't realize that love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign… to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. It is in your very own skin. Quirrel, full of hatred, greed, and ambition, sharing his soul with Voldemort, could not touch you for this reason. It was agony to touch a person marked by something so good.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

tags: death, love

1685 likes

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#10

“Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?"
He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this" -- he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose -- "distracting?"
I laugh. Boggs looks embarrassed and Finnick looks more like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

tags: finnick, humour, hunger-games

5066 likes

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#11

“Hello, Harry" said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones."
"You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

tags: humour

2284 likes

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#12

“If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.”
― Johnny Depp

tags: humour, love

2603 likes

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#13

“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”
― Irina Dunn

tags: feminism, humour, misattributed-gloria-steinem

3545 likes

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#14

“So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.'
'Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

tags: clockwork-angel, humour, nathaniel-gray, will-herondale, wit

2207 likes

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#15

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
― George Carlin

2463 likes

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#16

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: funny, humour, infidelity, parenthood, parenting, sexuality

2195 likes

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#17

“Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: beauty, humour

3174 likes

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#18

“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: humour

1962 likes

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#19

“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

tags: gods, humour, religion, stupidity

1271 likes

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#20

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
― Elbert Hubbard

tags: humour, life

1194 likes

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#21

“Short cuts make long delays.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

tags: humour, life-lesson, pippin, proverbs, shortcuts

1417 likes

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#22

“The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Artist as Critic: Critical Writings of Oscar Wilde

tags: genius, humour, oscar-wilde

902 likes

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#23

“Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?”
― J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

tags: humour, ron-weasley

484 likes

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#24

“Just because you said dragon demons were extinct—"
"I said mostly extinct."
Alec jabbed a finger toward him.
"Mostly extinct," he said, his voice trembling with rage, "is NOT
EXTINCT ENOUGH."
"I see," said Jace. "I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: alec-lightwood, city-of-ashes, humour, jace-wayland

1313 likes

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#25

“While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

tags: clave, humour, sarcasm, will-herondale

729 likes

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#26

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”
― Marian Keyes, Watermelon

tags: funny, humour, love, relationships, women

658 likes

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#27

“Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you!
— Russ Cargill”
― Matt Groening

tags: humour, simpsons

423 likes

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#28

“Oh, I can never get enough. Which, incidentally, is what your sister said when--”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

tags: humour, innuendo, will-herondale

477 likes

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#29

“I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.”
― Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe

tags: complaining, humour, language

428 likes

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#30

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
- T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

tags: humor, humour

957 likes

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dance
heaven
hurt
inspirational
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love
sing
chamber
comedy
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secrets
boggs
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