Sam I. > Sam's Quotes

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”
― Bill Watterson

“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”
― Bill Watterson

“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
― Bill Watterson

“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
― Bill Watterson

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”
― Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.”
― Bill Watterson, The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes

“I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”
― Bill Watterson

“That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!”
― Bill Watterson, Weirdos From Another Planet: Calvin & Hobbes Series: Book Six

“CALVIN:
Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?

When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny.

Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?

HOBBES:
I suppose if we couldn't laugh at the things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.”
― Bill Watterson

“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
― Bill Watterson

“I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.”
― Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?
HOBBES:
I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
CALVIN:
Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.”
― Bill Watterson

“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did?
Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin.
Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
― Bill Watterson

“You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'

'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.”
― Bill Watterson, Scientific Progress Goes "Boink"

“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.”
― Bill Watterson

“Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.”
― Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
― Bill Watterson

“I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.”
― Bill Watterson, It's a Magical World

“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Calvin: Look, a dead bird!
Hobbes: It must've hit a window.
Calvin: Isn't it beautiful? It's so delicate. Sighhh... once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize that nature is ruthless and our existence is very fragile, temporary, and precious. But to go on with your daily affairs, you can't really think about that...which is probably why everyone takes the world for granted and why we act so thoughtlessly. It's very confusing. I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up.
Hobbes: No doubt.”
― Bill Watterson, There's Treasure Everywhere

“They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.”
― Bill Waterson

“A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”
― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“Now what state do you live in?'
'Denial.”
― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”
― Bill Watterson

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone