Laura > Laura's Quotes

“Nay, but prithee, with sprinkles 'pon it instead," I said solemnly, "and frosting of white.”
― Jim Butcher, Small Favor

“Regardless of what I think about Islam or Wicca or any other religion, the fact is that it's a group of people. Every faith has its ceremonies. And since it's made up of people, every faith also has its assholes.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“A bolt of warmth, fierce with joy and pride and gratitude, flashed through me like sudden lightning. I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching—they are your family. And they were my heroes.”
― Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty

“A technicality I'm prepared to hide wildly behind.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."

Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“Punctuality is for people with nothing better to do”
― Jim Butcher, Small Favor

“Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, "Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original."

Then I vindictively hung up on the FBI. It made my inner child happy.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“And thrice do I say to thee...bite me.”
― Jim Butcher

“Harry Dresden. Saving the world, one act of random destruction at a time.”
― Jim Butcher, Mean Streets

“It came charging toward me, several hundred pounds of angry-looking monster, and I did the only thing any reasonable wizard could have done.
I turned around and ran like hell.”
― Jim Butcher, Death Masks

“I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.”
― Jim Butcher, Grave Peril

“I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits.”
― Jim Butcher, Grave Peril

“You don't take your cat with you to go bird shopping. Not because the cat isn't polite, but because he's a cat.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.”
― Jim Butcher, Turn Coat

“People love dogs. You can never go wrong adding a dog to the story.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chinese throwing stars get you a dozen stitches.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“- Did you really save the world ?...
- Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happend that the world was in the same spot.”
― Jim Butcher, Blood Rites

“You need to know where to go,' Sanya said.
'Yes,'
'And you are going to consult four large pizzas for guidance.'
'Yes,' I said.
...'There is, I think, humour here which does not translate well from English into sanity.'
'That's pretty rich coming from the agnostic Knight of the Cross with a holy Sword who takes his orders from an archangel.' I said.
- Harry Dresden & Sanya, Changes, Jim Butcher”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“Paranoia is a survival trait when you run in my circles. It gives you something to do in your spare time, coming up with solutions to ridiculous problems that aren't ever going to happen. Except when one of them does, at which point you feel way too vindicated.
- Harry Dresden, Changes, Jim Butcher”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“the Female Once-Over--a process by which one woman creates a detailed profile of another woman based upon about a million subtle details of clothing, jewelry, makeup, and body type, and then decides how much of a social threat she might be. Men have a parallel process, but it's binary: Does he have beer? If yes, will he share with me?”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“All right. Tell me what I'm looking at."

From the improvised Rolling Stones T-shirt bag tied to my sash, Bob the Skull said, in his most caustic voice, "A giant pair of cartoon lips."

I muttered a curse and fumbled with the shirt until one of the skull's glowing orange eye sockets was visible.

A big goofy magic nerd!" Bob said.”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“I wouldn't burden any decent system of faith by participating in it... I'm not agnostic. Just nonpartisan. Theological Switzerland, that's me.”
― Jim Butcher, Death Masks

“I love you." Why it worked right then, why the webbing of my godmother's spell frayed as though the words had been an open flame, I don't know. I haven't found any explanation for it. There aren't any magical words, really. The words just hold the magic. They give it a shape and a form, they make it useful, describe the images within. I'll say this, though: Some words have a power that has nothing to do with supernatural forces. They resound in the heart and mind, they live long after the sounds of them have died away, they echo in the heart and the soul. They have power, and that power is very real. Those three words are good ones.”
― Jim Butcher, Grave Peril

“As in 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'?" The skull howled with laughter. "You just got your ass handed to you by a nursery tale?"

"I wouldn't say they handed me my ass," I said.

Bob was nearly strangling on his laughter, and given that he had no lungs it seemed gratuitous somehow. "That's because you can't see yourself," he choked out. "Your nose is all swollen up and you've got two black eyes. You look like a raccoon. Holding a dislocated ass.”
― Jim Butcher, Small Favor

“There are some people who will never understand what
loyalty means. They could tell you what it was, of course,
but they will never know.They will never see it from the inside.
They couldn't imagine a world where something like that was real.”
― Jim Butcher, First Lord's Fury

“Nearly everyone underestimates how powerful the touch of another person's hand can be. The need to be touched is something so primal, so fundamentally a part of our existence as human beings that its true impact upon us can be difficult to put into words. That power doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex, either. From the time we are infants, we learn to associate the touch of a human hand with safety, with comfort, with love.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“Maybe the Merlin was right. Maybe its better to look stupid but strong, than it is to look smart but weak, I don't know. I'm not sure I want to believe that the world stage bears that strong a resemblance to high school.”
― Jim Butcher, Turn Coat

“Screw up my life?" He stared at me for a second and then said, deadpan, "I'm a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow." He pushed up his glasses with his forefinger, folded his arms, and said, "Do your worst.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“Gandalf never had this kind of problem.
He had exactly this problem, actually, standing in front of the hidden Dwarf door to Moria. Remember when . . .
I sighed. Sometimes my inner monologue annoys even me. “Edro, edro,” I muttered. “Open.” I rubbed at the bridge of my nose and ventured, “Mellon.”
Nothing happened. The wards stayed. I guessed the Corpsetaker had never read Tolkien. Tasteless bitch.”
― Jim Butcher, Ghost Story