Ava Lin > Ava's Quotes

“trallalala”
― Dav Pilkey, Ricky Ricotta's Mighty Robot vs. the Jurassic Jackrabbits from Jupiter

“two wrongs dont make a right”
― Dav Pilkey, Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets

“God bless the rain, and the storm clouds that bring it.
God bless the music, and the voices that sing it.
God bless the ones who sing everything wrong.
God bless the creatures who do not belong.
God bless the hearts and the souls who are grieving
For those who have left, and for those who are leaving.
God bless each perishing body and mind,
God bless all creatures remaining behind.
God bless the dreamers whose dreams have awoken.
God bless the lovers whose hearts have been broken.
God bless each soul that is tortured and taunted,
God bless all creatures alone and unwanted.”
― Dav Pilkey

“George and Harold were usually responsible kids. Whenever anything bad happened, George and Harold were usually responsible.”
― Dav Pilkey, The Adventures of Captain Underpants

“Have you read your UNDERPANTS today?”
― Dav Pilkey

“You may have even commented on the surprising inappropriateness of such a murderous and bloody scene appearing in a children's book. It's fun to feel offended, isn't it?”
― Dav Pilkey, Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers

“Never trust anyone, Daniel, especially the people you admire. Those are the ones who will make you suffer the worst blows.”
― Dav Pilkey, Kat Kong

“What happened at the end of our last story is something called misdirection. It's what happens when you are led to believe that something is true, but in reality it's not true at all. Misdirection happens a lot in real life- especially in politics, history, education, medicine, marketing, science, religion, and the Oprah Winfrey Network.”
― Dav Pilkey, Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers

“The turkeys were chunky
With smiley, beaked faces,
And they greeted the children
With downy embraces.

So out through the barnyard
They ran and they flew,
And they gobbled and giggled
As friends sometimes do.

Then somebody spotted
An ax by the door,
And she asked Farmer Nuggett
What it was for.

With a blink of his eye
And a twist of his head,
The old farmer told
A grim tale of dread:

“Tonight,” said Mack Nuggett,
“These feathery beasts
Will be chopped up and roasted
For Thanksgiving feasts.”

The children stood still
As tears filled their eyes,
Then they clamored aloud
In a chorus of cries.

“Oh dear,” cried Mack Nuggett,
“Now what shall I do?”
So he dashed to the well,
And the teacher went, too.

And they fetched some water
Fresh from the ground,
In hopes that a swig
Might calm everyone down.

And when they returned
To quiet the matter,
The children were calmer
(And mysteriously fatter!).”
― Dav Pilkey, 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

“Another piece of Zygo-Gogozizzle 24 ended up landing in a grape vineyard on planet Pinot. The Zygo-Gogozizzle 24 was quickly absorbed into the soil and was subsequently soaked up into the grapes. These grapes, which had until recently been harvested almost to extinction, suddenly became self-aware and super intelligent. They banded together in bunches and rose up to defeat their oppressors. The battle lasted one whole night, but sadly, it ended the next morning when the sun came up. The rebellion shriveled when the poor grapes ran out of juice. Apparently there’s a raisin for everything.”
― Dav Pilkey

“tra-la-la!-captain underpants”
― Dav Pilkey, The Adventures of Captain Underpants

“Twas the day before Thanksgiving
And all through the trees,
The fall leaves were spinning
Aloft in the breeze.

Eight children had boarded
Their school bus with grins
In hopes that a field trip
Soon would begin.

They sang as they rode
Through autumn terrains,
While visions of drumsticks
Danced in their brains.”
― Dav Pilkey, 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

“O’er rivers, through woods,
With winding and weaves,
Their school bus sailed on
Through the new-fallen leaves.

When out on the road
There arose such a clatter,
They threw down their windows
To see what was the matter.

When what with their wondering eyes
Should they see,
But a miniature farm
And eight tiny turkey.

And a little old man
So lively and rugged,
They knew in a moment
It was Farmer Mack Nuggett.

He was dressed all in denim
From his head to his toe,
With a pinch of polyester
And a dash of Velcro.

And then in a twinkling
They heard in the straw
The prancing and pawing
Of each little claw.

More rapid than chickens
His cockerels they came.
He whistled and shouted
And called them by name:

“Now Ollie, now Stanley, now Larry and Moe,
On Wally, on Beaver, on Shemp and Groucho!”
― Dav Pilkey, 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

“Tonight,” said Mack Nuggett,
“These feathery beasts
Will be chopped up and roasted
For Thanksgiving feasts.”

The children stood still
As tears filled their eyes,
Then they clamored aloud
In a chorus of cries.

“Oh dear,” cried Mack Nuggett,
“Now what shall I do?”
So he dashed to the well,
And the teacher went, too.

And they fetched some water
Fresh from the ground,
In hopes that a swig
Might calm everyone down.

And when they returned
To quiet the matter,
The children were calmer
(And mysteriously fatter!).

The boys and girls drank up
Their drinks in the hay,
Then thanked old Mack Nuggett
And waddled away.

They limped to the school bus
All huffing and puffing--
It’s not easy to walk
With hot turkey stuffing.

And then, as the school bus drove off in the night,
Mack Nuggett looked ‘round--not a turkey in sight!”
― Dav Pilkey, 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

“Twas the night before Thanksgiving,
And the stars up above
Shone down on a school bus
Abounding with love.

The very next evening,
Eight families were blessed
With eight fluffy Thanksgiving turkeys
As guests.

They feasted on veggies
With jelly and toast,
And everyone was thankful
(The turkeys were most!).

So each one gave thanks
For love and for living,
And they all had a wonderful
Happy Thanksgiving.”
― Dav Pilkey, 'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving