Direwolf 251 > Direwolf's Quotes

“Incredible cosmic powers do not equate with high IQ.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“It's like a banana farm for guns!”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“He was right. I was letting myself get distracted, like a rabbit doing math problems instead of looking for foxes.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“I needed to say something. Something romantic! Something to sweep her off her feet.
"You’re like a potato!" I shouted after her. "In a minefield."
She froze in place. Then she spun on me, her face lit by a half-grown fruit. “A potato,” she said flatly. “That’s the best you can do? Seriously?”
“It makes sense,” I said. “Listen. You’re strolling through a minefield, worried about getting blown up. And then you step on something, and you think, ‘I’m dead.’ But it’s just a potato. And you’re so relieved to find something so wonderful when you expected something so awful. That’s what you are. To me.”
“A potato.”
“Sure. French fries? Mashed potatoes? Who doesn’t like potatoes?”
“Plenty of people. Why can’t I be something sweet, like a cake?”
“Because cake wouldn’t grow in a minefield. Obviously.”
She stared down the hallway at me for a few moments, then sat on an overgrown set of roots.
Sparks. She seemed to be crying. Idiot! I thought at myself, scrambling through the foliage. Romantic. You were supposed to be romantic, you slontze! Potatoes weren’t romantic. I should have gone with a carrot.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“Never throw the first punch. If you have to throw the second, try to make sure they don't get up for a third.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“You can't be so frightened of what might happen that you are unwilling to act.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“As she’d left, I’d glanced at her gun.
This time, when she’d pointed it at me, she’d flicked the safety on. If that wasn’t true love, I don’t know what was.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“Don’t do anything stupid."
"Don’t worry," I whispered over the line, "I’m an expert on stupid."
"You’re..."
"Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know it so well. The way an exterminator knows bugs really well, and can spot where they’ve been? I’m like that. A stupidinator."
"Never say that word again," Prof said.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“Where there are villains, there will be heroes. Just wait. They will come.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“I have a smoke grenade in my room," I said.
"What?" Megan asked. "How?"
"I grew up working at a munitions plant," I said. "We mostly made rifles and handguns, but we worked with other factories. I got to pick up the occasional goody from the QC reject pile."
"A smoke grenade is a goody?" Cody asked.
I frowned. What did he mean? Of course it was. Who wouldn't want a smoke grenade when offered one?”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“We were like deaf people trying to dance to a beat we couldn't hear, long after the music actually stopped.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“They looked so dangerous, like alligators. Really fast alligators wearing black. Ninja alligators. I decided not to use that one on Megan.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“I hadn’t been a nerd, mind you. I’d just been the type of guy who spent a lot of time by himself, focused entirely on a single consuming interest.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“Well, trust me,” I said. “I’m more intense than I look. I’m intense like a lion is orange.”
“So, like … medium intense? Since a lion is kind of a tannish color?”
“No, they’re orange.” I frowned. “Aren’t they? I’ve never actually seen one.”
“I think tigers are the orange ones,” Mizzy said. “But they’re still only half orange, since they have black stripes. Maybe you should be intense like an orange is orange.”
“Too obvious,” I said. “I’m intense like a lion is tannish.” Did that work? Didn’t exactly slip off the tongue.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“Damn, I miss the internet. You could always find people doing stupid stuff on the internet.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“You can’t immerse yourself in something,” Prof said softly, “without coming to respect it.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“Don't just act because you can; act because it's the right thing to do. If you keep that in mind, you'll be all right.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“Reckoner Super Plan for Killing Regalia...

Step One: find Regalia, then totally explode her. Lots and Lots.

Step Two: put Val on decaf.

Step Three: Mizzy gets a cookie.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“That’s an answer in the same way that ketchup can be hair gel.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“What do you trust when your own thoughts and emotions seem to hate you?”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“If there was a universal law regarding mankind, it was that they’d find a way to ferment anything, given time.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“I have keen eyes. I once caught a leprechaun you know."
I looked at him skeptically. "Aren't those Irish?"
"Sure. He was over in the homeland on an exchange basis. We sent the Irish three turnips and a sheep's bladder in trade."
"Doesn't seem like much of a trade."
"Oh, I think it was a sparking good one, seeing as to leprechauns are imaginary and all. Hello, Prof. How's your kilt?"
"As imaginary as your leprechaun”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“The two great constants of life. Food and death.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“Prof's ability makes mine look like a piece of rice. And not even a cooked one.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“I sense a very large but.”
“Funny, because right in front of me, I see a—”
“Watch it.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“The day had finally arrived, a day I’d been awaiting for ten years. A glorious day, a momentous day, a day of import and distinction.
It was time to buy a hot dog.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Mitosis

“The world's gone mad: joining it is the only solution.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“Cupcakes are too dainty for a Scotsman. Give him one, and he’ll ask why didn’t you shoot the wee cake’s parents instead and serve that.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Calamity

“I let out a sound that was definitely not a whimper. It was something far more manly, no matter what it sounded like.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“Stupid water, ruining my enjoyment of swimming.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight