Conrad Bauer > Conrad's Quotes

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  • #1
    Terry Pratchett
    “Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
    Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
    Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
    Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
    Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
    Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
    The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
    No one ever said elves are nice.
    Elves are bad.”
    Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

  • #2
    Terry Pratchett
    “Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”
    Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

  • #3
    Terry Pratchett
    “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
    Terry Pratchett

  • #4
    Terry Pratchett
    “I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.”
    Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

  • #5
    Terry Pratchett
    “DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”
    Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

  • #6
    Terry Pratchett
    “The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

    Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

    But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

    This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”
    Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms: The Play

  • #7
    Terry Pratchett
    “Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."
    Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
    Terry Pratchett

  • #8
    Terry Pratchett
    “The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”
    Terry Pratchett



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