Hogfather Quotes

“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”
― Terry Pratchett

“It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.”
― Terry Pratchett

“HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM.”
― Terry Pratchett

“Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“It's supposed to be jolly, with mistletoe and holly... and other things ending in olly.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“Wanna see how creepy I can be?"
-Mr Teatime”
― Terry Prachett- Hogfather

“There were lessons later on. These were going a lot better now she’d got rid of the reading books about bouncy balls and dogs called Spot. She’d got Gawain on to the military campaigns of General Tacticus, which were suitably bloodthirsty but, more importantly, considered too difficult for a child. As a result his vocabulary was doubling every week and he could already use words like ‘disembowelled’ in everyday conversation. After all, what was the point of teaching children to be children? They were naturally good at it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“It seemed to be nearly all horses. Most of them were grinning. Horses, Death felt, shouldn't grin. Any horse that was grinning was planning something”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“...the type of hat known in various parts of the multiverse as 'bowler', 'derby' or 'the one that makes you look a bit of a tit”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“and one of the symptoms of those going completely yoyo was that they broke out in chronic cats”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“He pushed the page down again. 'No, you stay still, sonny. Else you'll just be a paragraph”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather