Lamis Salem > Lamis's Quotes

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#1

“I do not laugh; I do not cry;
I'm sweating out the will to die.

My past is sliding down the drain;
I soon will be myself again.”
― Theodore Roethke

tags: patience, self-awareness, self-care, suicidal-thoughts

38 likes

#2

“I spent most of my life believing l
was crazy because all the crazy things I experienced in childhood were treated as nonexistent or normal. This belief colored every decision made, from something so basic as what to wear today, to the more esoteric boundaries of whether I should kill myself. I understood very well that killing myself under the wrong circumstances would establish my insanity forever. So I analyzed every word, every gesture, before committing myself. (Which probably accounts for why I am alive today.)”
― Sarah E. Olson, Becoming One: A Story of Triumph Over Dissociative Identity Disorder

tags: belief, belief-quotes, belief-system, child-abuse, childhood-abuse, crazy, denial, insane, insanity, lies, psychological-abuse, self-doubt, suicidal, suicidal-ideation, suicidal-thoughts, suicide, survival, survivor

20 likes

#3

“Suddenly, I viddied what I had to do, and that was to do myself in; to snuff it, to blast off forever out of this wicked, cruel world. One moment of pain perhaps and, then, sleep forever, and ever and ever.”
― Anthony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange

tags: death, life, nadsat, redemption, reform, suicidal-thoughts

14 likes

#4

“Self-slaughter is an extravagant enactment of feeling sorry for oneself. Suicide is stingy act, because no matter how wretched our life may currently be, a person can always rise tomorrow and perform some small act of kindness for other people, care for a pet, or perform some other caring act that works towards preserving nature’s graciousness. To die of their own hand is to cheat other people and shortchange Mother Nature; it is taking without giving back in kind. What combats suicide is a sense of gratitude, a willingness to give to other people, and to cease living life as a taker. Without a profound appreciation for all that is living and devoid of a sincere willingness to contribute to the flourishing of all life forms, one can callously write off the value of their own life.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

tags: appreciating-life, grateful-soul, self-destruction, self-destructive-impulses, suicidal-thoughts, suicide

13 likes

#5

“i dreamt that i died. for an instant, all the voices in my head stood calm, and for a moment, my heart stopped panicking, and for once in my whole life, my cheeks dried from all the tears that were falling every night ... i thought to my self: how nice it is to be finally dead, i wish i did it sooner.
my brother once told me that people who commit suicide are mostly doing it for attention. that's so wrong. i'm not asking for attention, nor sympathy. when i put that blade on my shaking skin alone in my room at 3 am, you should be sure that i'm not thinking of anyone and i'm not asking for anyone's attention. all i'm doing is pushing my self to stop the pain. you see, i don't want to die too, all i want is for the pain to stop and for me to smile like everyone else.

yasuko amaya - the day i decided to be God -”
― Unknown Author 1

tags: blood, life, misery, pain, suffering, suicidal-thoughts, suicide, tears

10 likes

#6

“Using Pain To Relieve Pain. Doesn't Make Much Sense. But It Works.”
― Lupe Hernandez

tags: suicidal-thoughts

8 likes

#7

“Those drugs were either going to bring me nirvana or they were going to kill me. I was sure of it. And I was comfortable with it.”
― Joss Sheldon, The Little Voice

tags: addiction, comfort, comfortable, depression, drugs, intoxication, kill, nirvana, suicidal-thoughts, suicide

7 likes

#8

“What would I put in my bottom drawer? – I would put only sharp objects, the clean lines of broken glass, the honed steel of paring knives, the tiny saw-teeth of bread knives and the soothing edges of razor blades, I weigh knives in my hands like strange comforters.”
― Kate Atkinson

tags: depression, suicidal-thoughts

5 likes

#9

“That the very delusion which drove me to a death-loving desperation should so suddenly vanish would seem to indicate that many a suicide might be averted if the person contemplating it could find the proper assistance when such a crisis impends.”
― Clifford Whittingham Beers, A Mind That Found Itself: A Memoir of Madness and Recovery

tags: a-mind-that-found-itself, clifford-beers, clifford-w-beers, clifford-whittingham-beers, suicidal-ideation, suicidal-thoughts, suicide, suicide-thoughts

6 likes

#10

“How to tell your pretend-boyfriend and his real boyfriend that your internal processors are failing:

1. The biological term is depression, but you don't have an official diagnostic (diagnosis) and it's a hard word to say. It feels heavy and stings your mouth. Like when you tried to eat a battery when you were small and your parents got upset.
2. Instead, you try to hide the feeling. But the dark stain has already spilled across your hardwiring and clogged your processor. You don't have access to any working help files to fix this. Tech support is unavailable for your model. (No extended warranty exists.)
3. Pretend the reason you have no energy is because you're sick with a generic bug.
4. You have time to sleep. Your job is canceling out many of your functions; robots can perform cleaning and maintenance in hotels for much better wage investment, and since you are not (yet) a robot, you know you will be replaced soon.
5. The literal translation of the word depression: you are broken and devalued and have no further use.
6. No one refurbishes broken robots.
7. Please self-terminate.”
― A. Merc Rustad, The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2015

tags: depression, robots, suicidal-thoughts

4 likes

#11

“I am sorry.

I'm sorry that I feel as if you don't trust me enough to confide me.
This is me being selfish even though this isn't about me, it's about you.
I'm sorry that it makes me upset that in those times you thought about ending your life, I feel like I didn't cross your mind.
I hate myself for thinking you didn't care enough to talk to me about those toxic thoughts that's trying to push you to end everything, because I know myself that's it is hard to share.
I hate myself for thinking you didn't care enough to think about how horrible it is going to be for me once I learn what you've done.

I'm sorry for feeling like this, it is selfish, I am selfish.
I'm sorry for feeling like I'm not a good friend, I know that's now how you think, I'm sorry.

I just love you and I'm hurt.”
― Mari

tags: personal-development, suicidal-thoughts, trigger-warning

2 likes

#12

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”
― Juliette Lewis

tags: bravery, courage, death-and-dying, death-wish, despair, hopelessness, mental-disorder, mental-health, mental-health-stigma, mental-illness, suicidal-thoughts, suicidality, suicide

896 likes

#13

“I have just now come from a party where I was its life and soul; witticisms streamed from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me, but I went away — yes, the dash should be as long as the radius of the earth's orbit ——————————— and wanted to shoot myself.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

tags: bipolar, bipolar-disorder, depresion, loneliness, mood-swings, solitude, suicidal-thoughts, suicide

341 likes

#14

“Suicide. It's something I've been thinking about. Not too seriously, but I have been thinking about it.”

That's the note. Word for word. And I know it's word for word because I wrote it dozens of times before delivering it. I'd write it, throw it away, write it, crumple it up, throw it away.

But why was I writing it to begin with? I asked myself that question every time I printed the words onto a new sheet of paper. Why was I writing this note? It was a lie. I hadn't been thinking about it. Not really. Not in detail. The thought would come into my head and I'd push it away.

But I pushed it away a lot.”
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

tags: suicidal-thoughts, suicide

239 likes

#15

“I'm trying to let him know what I'm about to do.
I'm hoping he can save me, even though I realize he can't.”
― Matthew Quick, Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

tags: angst, depression, fate, resigned, suicidal-thoughts, suicide, teenage-angst

243 likes

#16

“I spend a lot of time wondering what dying feels like. What dying sounds like. If I’ll burst like those notes, let out my last cries of pain, and then go silent forever. Or maybe I’ll turn into a shadowy static that’s barely there, if you just listen hard enough.”
― Jasmine warga, My Heart and Other Black Holes

tags: depression, dying, suicidal-thoughts

121 likes

#17

“I used to think it utterly normal that I suffered from “suicidal ideation” on an almost daily basis. In other words, for as long as I can remember, the thought of ending my life came to me frequently and obsessively.”
― Stephen Fry

tags: bipolar-disorder, mental-illness, suicidal, suicidal-ideation, suicidal-thoughts, suicide, suicide-attempt

138 likes

#18

“I think he just loved being with the bears because they didn't make him feel bad. I get it too. When he was with the bears, they didn't care that he was kind of weird, or that he'd gotten into trouble for drinking too much and using drugs(which apparently he did a lot of). They didn't ask him a bunch of stupid questions about how he felt, or why he did what he did. They just let him be who he was.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

tags: animal-kindness, animals, animals-love, bears, curiosity, drinking, drinking-alcohol, drug-addiction, drugs, feeling-bad, freedom, letting-down, lonliness, misanthropy, people, people-suck, personality, questions, stupid-people, stupidity, suicidal, suicidal-thoughts, suicide-notes

75 likes

#19

“Nobody would commit suicide if the pain of being inside herself, the agony of the sleepless, tortured hours spent watching the world get smaller and uglier, were bearable or could be relieved by other people telling her how they wanted her to feel. A depressed person is selfish because her self, the very core of who she is, will not leave her alone, and she can no more stop thinking about this self and how to escape it than a prisoner held captive by a sadistic serial killer can forget about the person who comes in to torture her everyday. Her body is brutalized by her mind. It hurts to breathe, eat, walk, think. The gross maneuverings of her limbs are so overwhelming, so wearying, that the fine muscle movements or quickness of wit necessary to write, to actually say something, are completely out of the question.”
― Stacy Pershall, Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl

tags: depression, pain, suicidal-thoughts

57 likes

#20

“You can think about killing yourself a thousand times a day and each time it gets just a little bit more real. But the day you wake up and know beyond the shadow of a doubt you are going to go through with it, that is both the worst and best day of your life. When you accept it you will find it amazing that everything you were thinking about suicide before was wrong. Suddenly you realize suicide is easy and desirable and that brings relief. No one wants to die. The act of dying is horrific but the reward is being dead and that sounds glorious to me.”
― T DogMan

tags: suicidal-thoughts, suicide

26 likes

#21

“So ask me if I am alright.
'I’m fine; I’m always fine.'
You see this look in my eyes.
'No, I’m fine. I am always fine.'
There is a corpse behind my smile.
'Listen, I am fine. Always, always fine as fine can be.'
'Are you okay?'
'I am more than okay. I am more than fine. I am wonderful!”
― Emma Rose Kraus, A Blue One

tags: bad-medicine, depression, friends, medicine, mental-illness, recovery, suicidal-thoughts

22 likes

#22

“We wage battle with our traumas each day, individually and, to a broader extent, collectively. Too often we are dragged from our sleep by inner skirmishes that invade and dominate our emotions, rile the inner snipers, and hold our bodies hostage to our histories. Often we are ambushed by an unseen enemy from within and for the untrained, unconditioned warrior, there is no safety. We hide, isolate, avoid known landmines, and shield ourselves with alcohol, other drugs, spending, raging, sex, gambling, risk taking. At least, for a moment, the terror dissolves and we can attach ourselves to a sense of safety. Even in the full knowledge that it's all temporary.”
― Louise Sutherland-Hoyt

tags: depression-stories, suicidal-thoughts, trauma-survivors

8 likes

#23

“Those in earthly purgatory, each day, have been engaging a death God for years...”
― The Raveness, Night Tide Musings

tags: depression, melancholia, suicidal-thoughts

14 likes

#24

“I think of killing myself a lot, and it’s the worst feeling in the world.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

tags: juansen-dizon, suicidal-thoughts, tumblr, tumblr-poetry, tumblr-quotes, tumblr-writer

24 likes

#25

“A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.”
― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

tags: autobiography, borderline-personality-disorder, suicidal-thoughts, suicide

32 likes

#26

“It just takes one wrong word, Darcio, and you could be the reason someone kills themselves because nobody is ever taught how to deal with pain especially when it can’t be seen.”
― Simmy Kors

tags: death, depression, loss, mental-illness, suicidal-thoughts, suicide

6 likes

#27

“If I'm sad and feel like crying, I come to the swimming pool because if I cried at home, I'd cry and cry and be depressed for three days and three nights and then I couldn't stand it and I'd swallow a load of sleeping pills. Or drive east to the sea and just keep going straight into the water. Or walk off the edge of a clidd. So, I come here instead where there's so much water already I can weep in peace.”
― Xiaolu Guo, Twenty Fragments of a Ravenous Youth

tags: suicidal-thoughts, weeping

5 likes

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