Borderline Personality Disorder Quotes

“People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.”
― Marsha Linehan

“I couldn’t trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any? And which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD? I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations. People who had known me years ago would barely recognize me now. I had become quiet and withdrawn in social settings, no longer the life of the party. After all, how could I know if my boisterous humor were spontaneous or just a borderline desire to be the center of attention? I could no longer trust any of my heart felt beliefs and opinions on politics, religion, or life. The debate queen had withered. I found myself looking at every single side of an issue unable to come to any conclusions for fear they might be tainted. My lifelong ability to be assertive had turned into a constant state of passivity.”
― Rachel Reiland, Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder

“The Queen is controlling, the Witch is sadistic, the Hermit is fearful, and the Waif is helpless.

And each requires a different approach. Don't let the Queen get the upper hand; be wary even of accepting gifts because it engenders expectations. Don't internalize the Hermit's fears or become limited by them. Don't allow yourself to be alone with the Witch; maintain distance for your own emotional and physical safety. And with the Waif, don't get pulled into her crises and sense of victimization. Pay attention to your own tendencies to want to rescue her, which just feeds the dynamic.”
― Christine Ann Lawson, Understanding the Borderline Mother

“Yet I also recognize this: Even if everyone in the world were to accept me and my illness and validate my pain, unless I can abide myself and be compassionate toward my own distress, I will probably always feel alone and neglected by others.”
― Kiera Van Gelder

“Thirty seconds of pure awareness is a long time, especially after a lifetime of escaping yourself at all costs.”
― Kiera Van Gelder, The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating

“The role of the therapist is to reflect the being/accepting self that was never allowed to be in the borderline.”
― Michael Adzema

“To stave off the panic associated with the absence of a primary object, borderline patients frequently will impulsively engage in behaviors that numb the panic and establish contact with and control over some new object.”
― Christine Ann Lawson, Understanding the Borderline Mother

“A borderline suffers a kind of emotional hemophilia; [s]he lacks the clotting mechanism needed to moderate [his or her] spurts of feeling. Stimulate a passion, and the borderline emotionally bleeds to death.”
― Jerold Kreisman, Hal Straus, I Hate You—Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

“You are a warrior in a dark forest, with no compass and are unable to tell who the actual enemy is, So you never feel safe ..”
― Anonymous

“A crucial element of the real self is its unconditional acceptance of itself.”
― Michael Adzema

“The biographies of the great men see their excesses as signs of their greatness. But Jean Rhys, in her biography, is read as borderline; Anaïs Nin is borderline; Djuna is borderline; etc. etc. Borderline personality disorder being an overwhelmingly gendered diagnosis. I write in Heroines: “The charges of borderline personality disorder are the same charges against girls writing literature, I realize—too emotional, too impulsive, no boundaries.”
― Kate Zambreno

“What does borderline personality mean, anyhow? It appears to be a way station between neurosis and psychosis: a fractured but not disassembled psyche. Though to quote my post-Melvin psychiatrist: "It's what they call people whose lifestyles bother them.”
― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

“recognizing how even poison is a form of medicine when used the right way.”
― Kiera Van Gelder

“GoodReads: Do people still ask you about your mental health?

Susanna Kaysen: Well, they used to a lot. "Are you still crazy?" was how people put it. And I would say, "Yes, but I'm older, so I'm more used to it." It's familiar. You've been there, you've done that, and it's gone away. I think the fact that you can feel like it's the end of the world and you're going to kill yourself and yet there's some part of you that says "this has happened before." And by the time you get to the point where you can say "this has happened 137 times before," it's better than saying "this has happened four times before." So as you get older, there's a little ironist or cynic or somebody inside you who says, "Yeah, uh-huh. Right, OK, I've heard that, I've heard that.”
― Susanna Kaysen

“There weren't as many layers between her and the world as there were with the rest of us.”
― Renée Knight, Disclaimer

“I paint my wrists
a pretty red
To silence the demons
in my head
Creating art
out of my pain
It's the only thing
that keeps me sane

But why do others cry
when they see my art?
Is it because
I ripped the canvas apart?
I never understood
why they looked so upset
I guess they just don't like
the color red”
― Y.B.

“Conviction rates in the military are pathetic, with most offenders going free AND THERE IS NO RECOURSE FOR APPEAL! The military believes the Emperor has his clothes on, even when they are down around his ankles and he is coming in the woman's window with a knife! Military juries give low sentences or clear offender's altogether. Women can be heard to say “it's not just me” over and over. Men may get an Article 15, which is just a slap on the wrist, and doesn't even follow them in their career. This is hardly a deterrent. The perpetrator frequently stays in place to continue to intimidate their female victims, who are then treated like mental cases, who need to be discharged. Women find the tables turned, letters in their files, trumped up Women find the tables turned, letters in their files, trumped up charges; isolation and transfer are common, as are court ordered psychiatric referrals that label the women as lying or incompatible with military service because they are “Borderline Personality Disorders” or mentally unbalanced. I attended many of these women, after they were discharged, or were wives of abusers, from xxx Air Force Base, when I was a psychotherapist working in the private sector. That was always their diagnosis, yet retesting tended to show something different after stabilization, like PTSD.”
― Diane Chamberlain, Conduct Unbecoming: Rape, Torture, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from Military Commanders

“Unbearable pain that is expressed and acknowledged becomes bearable. But borderlines received no such responses in their childhood. Therefore, they are stuck in the past, trying to elicit what they needed as a child—validation of their unbearable pain.”
― Christine Ann Lawson, Understanding the Borderline Mother

“I wondered how you would react when i revealed to you my hidden parts, my ugly parts that don't do well in the sunlight”
― Ashley Berry, Separate Things: A Memoir

“By contrast, moderate identity alteration differs from its milder countepart in that the alterations are not always under the person's control. In addition, moderate identity alteration does not always manifest the presence of distinct alter personalities. Someone who experiences moderate identity alteration may present with mood changes and behaviors that they perceive as uncontrollable. Patients with nondissociative psychiatric disorders (e.g., manic depressive illness) may report moderate alterations in behavior/demeanor that they cannot control; for example, one patient diagnosed as manic depressive mentioned being bothered by his inability to "keep his mind from racing" (SCID-D interview, unpublished transcript). However, these alterations do not coalesce around distinct personalities. Similarly, individuals who have borderline personality disorder tend to fluctuate rapidly between radically different behaviors and moods; however, these changes do not involve different names, memories, preferences, distinct ages, or amnesia for past events.”
― Marlene Steinberg, Handbook for the Assessment of Dissociation: A Clinical Guide

“Therapists sometimes warn family members not to depend on the person with BPD to validate their self-worth, yet young children have no choice. They can and will do anything to hold onto the good mother (the loving, caring person) who unpredictably turns into the Witch mother (the terrifying, raging beast).”
― Christine Ann Lawson, Understanding the Borderline Mother

“Ernest Wolf (1988) explains that “merger-hungry” personalities need to control others completely. The borderline Witch’s merger-hungry personality leaves her children feeling devoured, suffocated, oppressed, and imprisoned. Even as adults, her children may dream about prison camps, holocausts, invasions, wars, and natural disasters. They fear for their survival.”
― Christine Ann Lawson, Understanding the Borderline Mother

“I don't think that the instant desperate attachment Borderlines feel really counts as love, but I had never felt any other kind of love, so I didn't know.”
― Mishell Baker, Borderline

“You have mastered the art of protecting your conscience while completely masking your sooul.”
― Angel Foxx, Poetic Turbulence

“Aspire to become a phantom, drifting through eclectic dwellings.”
― @sherixxan

“Beneath your pain, the foundation of you is love, has always been. Even when people are unworthy of it, you give love with your whole heart. Even if it tears you to pieces.”
― Mishell Baker, Impostor Syndrome

“Hear me out. The idea of 'radical acceptance' is that sometimes in order to reduce suffering, you have to stop fighting the situation and do the counterintuitive thing. Wholeheartedly embrace reality, spiky bits and all.”
― Mishell Baker, Phantom Pains

“I know how bored and restless you must feel when you have no one on whom to focus your passion. It's why Teo's dismissal enraged you; he was your best candidate."
pg. 104”
― Mishell Baker, Borderline

“There are distinct mood changes with borderline individuals that may be experienced as very alien or disconnected to the client. The loss of memory associated with DID, however, does not occur in BPD, and the mood changes do not constitute a change in personality to the extent that a part of the psyche takes control of the body outside the individual's consciousness.”
― Deborah Bray Haddock

“Do what you're supposed to do, regardless of what you're feeling. Regardless of whether it feels right or wrong in the moment. Ignore your thoughts. Just Do the Thing.”
― Mishell Baker, Phantom Pains