Kadedra > Kadedra's Quotes

“Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."
Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
― Terry Pratchett

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
― W.C. Fields

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

[misquote of a letter about wine, see quotes/831031]”
― Benjamin Franklin

“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
― Frank Sinatra

“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”
― David Sedaris, Naked

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
― Ernest Hemingway

“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
― G.K. Chesterton, Heretics: The Annotated

“I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it's there, because it can't hurt, and because what difference does it make?”
― Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

“Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”
― Steve Martin

“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
― Drew Carey

“After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!”
― Warren Ellis

“For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.”
― Tom Waits

“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.”
― Tom Waits

“After the first glass of vodka
you can accept just about anything
of life even your own mysteriousness
you think it is nice that a box
of matches is purple and brown and is called La Petite and comes from Sweden
for they are words that you know and that is all you know words not their feelings or what they mean and you write because you know them not because you understand them because you don't you are stupid and lazy and will never be great but you do what you know because what else is there?”
― Frank O'Hara, The Collected Poems of Frank O'Hara

“Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.”
― W.C. Fields

“There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”
― Bette Davis

“Son, never trust a man who doesn’t drink because he’s probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They’re the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They’re usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they’re a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can’t trust a man who’s afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It’s damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he’s heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl.”
― James Crumley

“Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”
― Alex Levine

“There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.”
― Raymond Chandler

“To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems”
― Matt Groening

“I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.”
― Stephen Colbert