Sam Martinez > Sam's Quotes

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  • #1
    Christopher Moore
    “Does a broken heart know from a different location?”
    Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

  • #2
    Christopher Moore
    “Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt”
    Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

  • #3
    David  Wong
    “And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #4
    David  Wong
    “Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #5
    David  Wong
    “Welcome to Undisclosed. Dreams
    Interpreted for Beer.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #6
    David  Wong
    “Keep driving," said a soft voice in my ear. "She will not bite if you keep driving."

    Fuck that. Fuck that idea like the fucking Captain of the Thai Fuck Team fucking at the fucking Tour de Fuck.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #7
    David  Wong
    “The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it'll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean."
    "Who's-"
    "Because you're gay.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #8
    David  Wong
    “John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’ penis would be larger than your penis.”.....
    ..."Fuck all of you,” John retorted. “You don’t even exist. We’re all just a figment of my cock’s imagination.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #9
    David  Wong
    “I keep the gun in a hollowed out copy of the Koran. And there the big book was, tossed on the bed, open and gunless. Nothing else disturbed. I mean, they actually checked my Koran to see if there was a gun inside. I knew I was dealing with a sick son of a bitch.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #10
    David  Wong
    “My melon soul
    Crushed by your Gallagher of apathy”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #11
    David  Wong
    “Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don't?”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #12
    David  Wong
    “SHUT UP. Both of you. You're coming with me." To me he said, "Put some pants on."

    "Fuck you. This is my house. I make the rules. You take your clothes off. John, get the Twister mat.”
    David Wong, This Book Is Full of Spiders

  • #13
    David  Wong
    “Falling in love with a house or a car or a pair of shoes, it was a dead end. You save your love for the things that can love you back.”
    David Wong, This Book Is Full of Spiders
    tags: love

  • #14
    David  Wong
    “Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End
    tags: lol

  • #15
    David  Wong
    “Fred said, “Man, I think he’s gonna make a fuckin’ suit of human skin, using the best parts from each of us.”
    “Holy crap,” said John. “He’ll be gorgeous.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #16
    David  Wong
    “To this day I don’t know if he was struggling with the moral implications of gunning down half a dozen civilians, or if he was mentally counting to see if he had that many shells left in the gun.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #17
    David  Wong
    “You see, Frank found out the hard way that the dark things lurking in the night don’t haunt old houses or abandoned ships. They haunt minds.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #18
    Christopher Moore
    “Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.”
    Christopher Moore

  • #19
    Christopher Moore
    “I love you above all things, even pie.”
    Christopher Moore, Fool

  • #20
    Christopher Moore
    “She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.”
    Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

  • #21
    “Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface.”
    A. Lee Martinez, Gil's All Fright Diner

  • #22
    “When you cross over into the weird stuff, there's no going back. Hector has a theory on it. Calls it the law of 'Anomalous Phenomena Attraction.' He explained it to me once. Didn't really pay attention, but it boils down to 'weird shit pulls in more weird shit.”
    A. Lee Martinez, Gil's All Fright Diner

  • #23
    “Ned passed the next few minutes quietly not dying in his office, and was pleased with how well it was going. He'd stayed alive longer, but now that he was concentrating on it, it felt more like an accomplishment.”
    A. Lee Martinez, In the Company of Ogres

  • #24
    David  Wong
    “I wanted to curl up into a fetal position and start sucking my thumb, let my tears and dripping saliva pool under me.

    Sorry. I tried living, tried being sentient. Can't do it. Can't live in the same universe with that.”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #25
    Douglas Adams
    “Don't Panic.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

  • #26
    Douglas Adams
    “Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

  • #27
    Douglas Adams
    “If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

  • #28
    Douglas Adams
    “This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

  • #29
    Douglas Adams
    “He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”
    Douglas Adams

  • #30
    Douglas Adams
    “The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
    tags: 42



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