Travis > Travis's Quotes

“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
― Jeff Foxworthy

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
― William Shakespeare, As You Like It

“You speak an infinite deal of nothing.”
― William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice