Shen > Shen 's Quotes

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  • #1
    Jest Ninney
    “As my Pops always says, POOP rolls downhill.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #2
    Jest Ninney
    “If I think you’re popular, I’m happy to lick your boot, regardless of your gender or sexual-orientation.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #3
    Jest Ninney
    “Or worse, they leave them home—to spend their days playing video games and eating sugary snacks. That’s what my family does.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #4
    Jest Ninney
    “I have a little brother named Fanny.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #5
    Jest Ninney
    “You can never grow up too soon. That’s my motto.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #6
    Jest Ninney
    “Then, after I’ve browsed all the nasty stuff online, I erase the browsing history, and presto, nobody’s any the wiser. Mummy and Pops refuse to give me a smartphone.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #7
    Jest Ninney
    “One time I forgot to erase Pops’s browsing history and he got into a lot of trouble when Mummy found out he was looking at “mature” stuff she didn’t think he should. He sniffed something was up so he changed his password to something more secure. When I tried to hack it again, he caught me”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #8
    Jest Ninney
    “Cowlick’s also in trouble with Mummy right now. Fanny got ahold of a box of Cowlick’s marijuana gummies and brought it to pre-school. The teacher was about to ask Fanny to share the treats he’d brought with him to school, when she noticed the “Parental Warning” label. But it was too late. Fanny had already shared them with his classmates. In a half hour, the kids were all rolling around on the carpet, frothing at the mouth and croaking, “the”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #9
    Jest Ninney
    “Of course, Mummy was furious, just furious with Cowlick for, like, a year. He didn’t help his case when he said it was the manufacturer’s fault. How stupid was it to make dangerous drugs in the form of candy?”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #10
    Jest Ninney
    “Grownups sure are trying their hardest to make the world as dangerous a place as they can.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #11
    Jest Ninney
    “Unfortunately, Pops didn’t notice me when I walked in through the living room looking like a homeless person. He was too busy watching Wolf News. They tell viewers to look down on the poor because it’s their own fault they’re poor.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #12
    Jest Ninney
    “you’ve met the protagonist—that’s me—and learned that he does indeed have a big weakness. Actually, I have two that are related: one, I’m insecure; and two, I’m a terrible friend. We can all agree on that, can’t we? You’ve also learned”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #13
    Jest Ninney
    “You’ve also learned that”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #14
    Tiffany Nicole Smith
    “(Ray): Bratty little sister extraordinaire”
    Tiffany Nicole Smith, Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge

  • #15
    Tiffany Nicole Smith
    “*waves hello*”
    Tiffany Nicole Smith, Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge

  • #16
    Tamara Hart Heiner
    “They’d left Texas right after the last day of school.”
    Tamara Hart Heiner, Episode 1: The New Girl: The Extraordinarily Ordinary Life of Cassandra Jones

  • #17
    Tamara Hart Heiner
    “No one. The room was empty. Cassie stood there, blinking back tears.”
    Tamara Hart Heiner, Episode 1: The New Girl: The Extraordinarily Ordinary Life of Cassandra Jones

  • #18
    John P. Logsdon
    “what the donkey-punching, glue-sniffing, scrotum-chewing fuck was going on here?”
    John P. Logsdon, Vines of Ostara

  • #19
    John P. Logsdon
    “There was a slight jiggle in her chest as she saluted.”
    John P. Logsdon, Vines of Ostara

  • #20
    Tiffany Nicole Smith
    “I can't believe you," I told Ava once Carter was out of the room. "You're failing math on purpose just to get tutored by a cute boy.”
    Tiffany Nicole Smith, Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge

  • #21
    Arlene Radasky
    “The Fox”
    Arlene Radasky, The Fox

  • #22
    Jest Ninney
    “Big-whoop.”
    Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

  • #23
    Tamara Hart Heiner
    “melted”
    Tamara Hart Heiner, Episode 1: The New Girl: The Extraordinarily Ordinary Life of Cassandra Jones

  • #24
    Tiffany Nicole Smith
    “What are you guys doing?" Carter asked once we were so close, we couldn't get any closer. "Uh, I wanted to move closer so I can hear you better," I said. "I moved closer because I like the way you smell," Ava said boldly.”
    Tiffany Nicole Smith, Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge

  • #25
    Tiffany Nicole Smith
    “I can't believe you," I told Ava once Carter was out of the room. "You're failing math on purpose just to get tutored by a cute boy. Do you have any idea how pathetic that is?”
    Tiffany Nicole Smith, Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge

  • #26
    J.K. Rowling
    “This man’s name was Albus Dumbledore.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

  • #27
    Alexandra Engellmann
    “motherfucker!”
    Alexandra Engellmann, Sky Ghosts: Initiation

  • #28
    R.L. Mathewson
    “It’s just that I’m pregnant and I wanted to tell you.” -tripped over his own feet and stumbled forward. He was forced to slap his hands against the edge of the desk or fall flat on his ass as his mind raced to make sense of what she’d just said. “W-what?” he asked, not really sure that he’d heard her correctly. “I just wanted to let you know that I was pregnant and to let you know that we needed to stop at a store on the way home tonight and pick up milk,” Haley said brightly while the class stared at her in utter shock while Jason stood there, struggling to catch his breath. He felt himself nod, not really sure why he was doing it, but he felt that he should be doing something. “Alright,” Haley said, brightly, “I’ll see you after class!” And with that, she finally left the room just as his legs gave out. He held onto the desk for dear life, still struggling to comprehend the words that had come out of his wife’s mouth. Pregnant? Haley was pregnant. They were having a baby. A baby, they were having a baby because Haley was pregnant. He’d gotten Haley pregnant. She was having his baby. They were- “Are you alright, Mr. Bradford?” someone asked, a boy or a girl, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he was definitely not okay. “D-do you need anything, Mr. Bradford?” someone else asked. The response was instant, years of Bradford survival taking over in that moment of crisis. “Food. I need food.”
    R.L. Mathewson, Playing for Keeps

  • #29
    Eoin Colfer
    “I have it on very good authority that I have a lovely pee-pee, so lay off.”
    Eoin Colfer, Plugged

  • #30
    “Big D! Big”
    Mark Mulle, The Zombie Chronicles (Book 1): The Daywalkers (An Unofficial Minecraft Diary Book for Kids Ages 9 - 12



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