Nel > Nel's Quotes

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#1

“If I shot an arrow and thought about an ass, would it surprise you that I hit Erik?' Stark asked me in a pleasant, nonchalant voice.”
― P.C. Cast, Tempted

tags: paranormal, vampire, young-adult

245 likes

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#2

“Oh for craps sake. You're not dying again, are you? It's seriously inconvenient when you do that." -Aphrodite”
― P.C. Cast

tags: aphrodite, burned, house-of-night, humor, paranormal, vampire, young-adult-fiction

194 likes

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#3

“Zo, I'm not a damn pussy!'

Erik, looking very tall and full-grown, kick-your-butt vampyre-like, snorted sarcastically and then said, 'No, you're a damn human. Wait, that does make you a pussy!”
― P.C. Cast

tags: 6, cast, house-of-night, paranormal, vampire, young-adult

113 likes

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#4

“How long have you been with Raphael?”

“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.”

“What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”
― Nalini Singh, Angels' Blood

tags: badass, elena, humor, nalini-singh, paranormal, sarcasm, venom

239 likes

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#5

“You know, considering your IQ, you're really socially retarded sometimes.”
― Shannon Delany, 13 to Life

tags: 13, life, paranormal, tale, werewolf, werewolf-s, ya

82 likes

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#6

“Hey, would you look at that shit?"
I turned on my heel. The patrons who’d fled at the first hint of trouble had come back and were enjoying the spectacle.
"Clear out!" I barked.
They paid me no mind. Asshole innocent bystanders.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

tags: humor, paranormal

77 likes

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#7

“You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me."
"I was ninety percent sure."
"I see," Clary said. There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put his hands on his cheek, more in surprise than pain.
"What the hell was that for?"
"The other ten percent.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: humor, paranormal-romance

5126 likes

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#8

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

tags: humour

10127 likes

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#9

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods

3719 likes

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#10

“Do you hate people?”

“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.”
― Charles Bukowski, Barfly

tags: humour, misanthropy, paraphrased

13397 likes

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#11

“Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour

1541 likes

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#12

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

tags: discworld, humor, humour, teaching

1733 likes

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#13

“Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

tags: humour

861 likes

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#14

“Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty."
Gideon Wyeth:"Why?"
Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.”
― Orson Scott Card

tags: advent-rising, funny, humour, stupid

809 likes

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#15

“What was up with class today? It was watered-down porn. He practically had you and Patch on top of your lab table, horizontal, minus your clothes, doing the Big Deed.”
― Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush

tags: biology, humour, sarcasm

699 likes

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#16

“Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Nature Girl

tags: humour

646 likes

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#17

“This is a team of gay dudes, isn't it?"
What gave it away? The pink shirts, or half our team drooling over you?”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

tags: homosexuals, humour, lgbt

651 likes

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#18

“Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you!
— Russ Cargill”
― Matt Groening

tags: humour, simpsons

421 likes

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#19

“my heart has more rooms in it than a whore house”
― Gabriel Garcia Marquez

tags: humour

859 likes

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#20

“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.”
― George Carlin

tags: babies, humour

753 likes

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#21

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
― Mark Twain

908 likes

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#22

“Holy freak show!”
― Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush

tags: becca-fitpatrick, humour, vee-sky

286 likes

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#23

“Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west."
The sun rises in the east, dickhead."
Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

tags: humour

272 likes

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#24

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
- T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

tags: humor, humour

959 likes

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#25

“She took out a shiny folded pamphlet, the kind they kept stacked in clear plastic stands in hospital waiting rooms. "How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: humour, mortal-instruments, vampire

373 likes

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#26

“You curse a lot."

"Fuck you - I hardly curse at all.”
― Tere Michaels, Faith & Fidelity

tags: expletives, humour

319 likes

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#27

“When did you get so smart?"
He tapped his forehead. "Brain transplant. They put in a whale's. I'm passing all my classes with my eyes closed now, but I just can't get over this craving for krill." He shrugged. "And I feel sorry for the whale that got my brain. Probably swimming around Florida now trying to catch glimpses of girls in bikinis.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception

tags: humour

265 likes

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#28

“I got swirling eyes and the capacity to shatter windows with my bare voice. Tod got teleportation and invisibility. The supernatural world is so far from fair.”
― Rachel Vincent, My Soul to Keep

tags: humour, supernatural

179 likes

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#29

“Next time I want to do something nice, slap me.”
― Simone Elkeles

tags: carlos-fuentes, humour, rules-of-attraction

186 likes

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#30

“I said breathe. Not do a fish-out of-water imitation.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever

tags: humour

214 likes

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Tags From Nel’s Quotes

paranormal
vampire
young-adult
aphrodite
burned
house-of-night
humor
young-adult-fiction
6
cast
badass
elena
nalini-singh
sarcasm
venom
13
life
tale
werewolf
werewolf-s
ya
paranormal-romance
humour
crime
funny
neighborhoods
misanthropy
paraphrased
discworld
teaching
advent-rising
stupid
biology
homosexuals
lgbt
simpsons
babies
becca-fitpatrick
vee-sky
mortal-instruments
expletives
supernatural
carlos-fuentes
rules-of-attraction