Michael Whitmeyer > Michael's Quotes

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”
― Bill Watterson

“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”
― Bill Watterson

“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
― Bill Watterson

“You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
What mood is that?
Last-minute panic.”
― Bill Watterson

“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
― Bill Watterson

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
― Bill Watterson

“You know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different.”
― Bill Watterson

“As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.”
― Bill Watterson, The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes

“We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”
― Bill Watterson

“I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”
― Bill Watterson

“I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.”
― Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?
HOBBES:
I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
CALVIN:
Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.”
― Bill Watterson

“God put me on earth to accomplish certain things. Right now, I’m so far behind, I’ll never die.”
― Bill Watterson

“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
― Bill Watterson

“That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.”
― Bill Watterson

“Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.”
― Bill Watterson

“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“How come we play war and not peace?"
"Too few role models.”
― Bill Watterson

“Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!”
― Bill Watterson

“I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose”
― Bill Watterson

“I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.”
― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“Now what state do you live in?'
'Denial.”
― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”
― Bill Watterson

“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

“Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN”
― Bill Watterson

“If you can't win by reason, go for volume.”
― Bill Watterson

“Careful. We don't want to learn from this.”
― Bill Watterson

“CALVIN:
As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.”
― Bill Watterson