Kace > Kace's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 30

#1

“I don’t like to share,” he says, inspecting his dagger before pocketing it again. “Share what?” I cross my arms again. He frowns at me. “You.”
― Jessa Hastings, Never

3 likes

#2

“Should I thank you for putting on pants?" Lorcan said, his voice no more than a midnight wind.

"I didn't want you to feel inadequate," Rowan replied, leaning against the roof door.”
― Sarah J. Maas, Queen of Shadows

168 likes

#3

“I would rather have had someone shoot me in the head with a nail gun, repeatedly, than have to watch the two of them cuddling on the couch together all night. --Conrad”
― Jenny Han, We'll Always Have Summer

166 likes

#4

“Where were you?” she asked.
“I was killing innocent maidens and kicking puppies.”
“Jacks, that’s not funny.”
― Stephanie Garber, The Ballad of Never After

tags: jacks

622 likes

#5

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor

7634 likes

#6

“It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
― Marilyn Monroe

tags: dirty, funny, logo, sex

6872 likes

#7

“They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

6221 likes

#8

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guiswite

tags: eyes, funny, lemons

5195 likes

#9

“It's not because I want to make out with her."
Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at me. "I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

tags: funny

4075 likes

#10

“Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”
Brekker’s lips quirked. “I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”
“My ghost won’t associate with your ghost,” Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

tags: funny, ghost, jesper, six-of-crows

4159 likes

#11

“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
― Jerry Seinfeld

tags: books, funny

4023 likes

#12

“I'm going to wake Peeta," I say.
"No, wait," says Finnick. "Let's do it together. Put our faces right in front of his."
Well, there's so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches frim his nose, and give him a shake. "Peeta. Peeta, wake up," I say in a soft, singsong voice.
His eyelids flutter open and then he jumps like we've stabbed him. "Aa!"
Finnick and I fall back in the sand, laughing our heads off. Every time we try to stop, we look at Peeta's attempt to maintain a disdainful expression and it sets us off again.”
― Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire

tags: funny, humor, prank

3096 likes

#13

“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

tags: funny

3000 likes

#14

“Headline?" he asked.
"'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said.
"'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said.
"'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

tags: funny, humor, humour, internet, john-green, pedophile, pedophilia, tfios, the-fault-in-our-stars

2780 likes

#15

“Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said.
The horse whinnied angrily.
"I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

tags: funny, silly-chinese-canadian-baby-man

2815 likes

#16

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
― Will Rogers

tags: advice, funny, reticence, silence

2623 likes

#17

“What I feel is not like the ballads.'

'No an affliction, then?' Oak raises an eyebrow. 'No fever?'

Tiernan gives him an exasperated look- one with which the prince is very familiar. 'It is more feeling that there is a part of me I have left somewhere and I am always looking for.'

'So he's liking a missing phone?'

'Someone ought to pitch you into the sea,' ...”
― Holly Black, The Prisoner’s Throne

tags: funny, holly-black, love, missing-piece, oak, oak-greenbriar, other-half, the-prisoners-throne, the-stolen-heir, tiernan

5 likes

#18

“I hate being unwell,' he says.

'You're not sick,' Jude tells him. 'You are recovering from being stabbed- or rather, throwing yourself on a knife.'

'You would have done the same for me,' he says airily.

'I would not,' Jude snaps.

'Liar,' Cardan says fondly.”
― Holly Black, The Prisoner’s Throne

tags: cardan, cardan-greenbriar, funny, holly-black, jude, jude-duarte, moaning, overdramatic, the-prisoners-throne, the-stolen-heir

3 likes

#19

“Killing is my thing,' he tells her. 'You should get your own thing.”
― Holly Black, The Prisoner’s Throne

tags: funny, holly-black, joking, killing, oak, oak-greenbriar, reassuring, suren, the-prisoners-throne, wren

4 likes

#20

“Felicitations on the murder of your mother.”
― Holly Black, The Prisoner’s Throne

tags: cardan, cardan-greenbriar, felicitations, funny, holly-black, murder, the-prisoners-throne, the-stolen-heir

3 likes

#21

“Your HIghness,' Tiernan hisses at Oak. HIs sword is drawn and his jaw set. 'Get below.'

'And how will that help, exactly?' Oak demands. 'Will waiting to drown make the experience better?”
― Holly Black, The Prisoner’s Throne

tags: drown, drowning, funny, good-point, holly-black, oak, oak-greenbriar, the-prisoners-throne, the-stolen-heir, tiernan

2 likes

#22

“You should probably stop staring at her like you never saw a naked girl with wings before.”
― Holly Black, The Prisoner’s Throne

tags: advice, bex, funny, holly-black, naked, oak, oak-greenbriar, staring, the-prisoners-throne, the-stolen-heir

1 likes

#23

“You could be in the ghost-face mask from scream and this would still happen”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

tags: funny

1 likes

#24

“Have I told you how hideous you look tonight?' Cardan asks, leaning back in the elaborately carved chair, the warmth of his words turning the question in to something like a compliment.

'No,' I say, glad to be annoyed back in to the present. 'Tell me.'

'I cannot,' he says, then frowns.”
― Holly Black, The Cruel Prince

tags: cardan, cardan-greenbriar, compliment, funny, hideous, holly-black, jude, jude-duarte, the-cruel-prince, the-folk-of-the-air

90 likes

#25

“You think I don’t deserve him,” I say to Cardan.
He smiles slowly, like the moon slipping beneath the waves of the lake. “Oh no, I think you’re perfect for each other.”
― Holly Black, The Cruel Prince

tags: cardan, fair-folk, fantasy, holly-black, jude, tcp, the-cruel-prince

68 likes

#26

“He gritted his teeth. “Being yours does not make you mine.”
― Stephanie Garber, A Curse for True Love

126 likes

#27

“My advice is, if he’s worried about his reputation, don’t rape anyone.”
― Chanel Miller, Know My Name: A Memoir

180 likes

#28

“The judge had given Brock something that would never be extended to me: empathy. My pain was never more valuable than his potential.”
― Chanel Miller, Know My Name: A Memoir

168 likes

#29

“This book does not have a happy ending. The happy part is there is no ending, because I'll always find a way to keep going.”
― Chanel Miller, Know My Name

158 likes

#30

“I am a victim, I have no qualms with this word, only with the idea that it is all that I am.”
― Chanel Miller, Know My Name

tags: chanel-miller, emily-doe, rape, sexual-assault, survivor, victim

146 likes

All Quotes

Kace > Kace's Quotes

Tags From Kace’s Quotes