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John Green

“Headline?" he asked.
"'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said.
"'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said.
"'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.”

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
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The Fault in Our Stars The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
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