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Ajahnae S > Ajahnae's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148765 likes

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  • #2
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    38021 likes

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  • #3
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35270 likes

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  • #4
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32166 likes

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  • #5
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: humor, religion
    30288 likes

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  • #6
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28831 likes

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  • #7
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24403 likes

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  • #8
    Charles Bukowski
    “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
    ― Charles Bukowski
    tags: humor
    22532 likes

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  • #9
    John Green
    “Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
    ― John Green
    tags: humor, nerdfighters
    21593 likes

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  • #10
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21451 likes

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  • #11
    Benjamin Franklin Wade
    “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
    ― Benjamin Franklin Wade
    tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology
    19877 likes

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  • #12
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19799 likes

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  • #13
    Jane Austen
    “A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
    ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
    tags: humor, love, romantic, women
    18076 likes

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  • #14
    Lewis Carroll
    “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
    ― Lewis Carroll
    tags: alice, humor, inspirational, philosophy-of-life, psychological, yesterday
    17441 likes

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  • #15
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15548 likes

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  • #16
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    ― Markus Herz
    tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints
    13741 likes

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  • #17
    Rita Mae Brown
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    ― Rita Mae Brown
    tags: humor, insanity
    12676 likes

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  • #18
    George V. Higgins
    “This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”
    ― George V. Higgins, The Friends of Eddie Coyle
    tags: humor, life, misattributed-john-wayne
    11397 likes

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  • #19
    J.K. Rowling
    “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    tags: humor, shampoo
    10164 likes

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  • #20
    Groucho Marx
    “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: friends, humor, jail
    10187 likes

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  • #21
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
    tags: humor
    10166 likes

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  • #22
    Stephen King
    “When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
    ― Stephen King, Storm of the Century
    tags: god, humor, religion
    7985 likes

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  • #23
    Douglas Adams
    “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

    There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor
    7880 likes

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  • #24
    Mae West
    “I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, temptation
    7021 likes

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  • #25
    Mark Twain
    “I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, knowledge
    6893 likes

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  • #26
    Maya Angelou
    “I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.”
    ― maya angelou
    tags: humor, inspirational, life
    6897 likes

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  • #27
    Roald Dahl
    “So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
    Go throw your TV set away,
    And in its place you can install
    A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
    Then fill the shelves with lots of books.”
    ― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
    tags: books, humor, television
    6844 likes

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  • #28
    Terry Pratchett
    “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
    tags: death, humor, life
    6734 likes

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  • #29
    Woody Allen
    “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: humor, life, sex
    6557 likes

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  • #30
    Oscar Wilde
    “I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: creation, god, humor, man
    6388 likes



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Tags From Ajahnae’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
animals
books
dogs
friends
obvious
simile
deadlines
humour
work
writing
religion
cats
women
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
nerdfighters
open-mind
thinking
misattributed-mark-twain
theology
insanity
lies
lying
self-indulgence
truth
love
romantic
alice
inspirational
philosophy-of-life
psychological
yesterday
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
health
misprints
life
misattributed-john-wayne
shampoo
jail
god
temptation
knowledge
television
death
sex
creation
man